Al FatihahAlwee Ab Ghani
9 July 1957 - 6 June 2010
Above pictures were taken 21 days before Arwah passed awaySaturday, June 5, 2010
Al Fatihah to Tuan Alwee
Al FatihahAlwee Ab Ghani
9 July 1957 - 6 June 2010
Above pictures were taken 21 days before Arwah passed away
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
The Message Allah has Sent To Me
The past one week, I dunno why the name of this particular Surah in the Quran kept playing in my mind. Everyday and every minute. Then from every hour, it went to every minute and then every seconds. So i decided to take my translation Quran and go thru the meaning of each ayat in that surah. I realised then why it suddenly came to my mind. Allah was sending a message to me. My whole body trembled when I read the meaning. Masha Allah..its beautiful. Jazakh-Allah Khair. I hope whoever reads this entry will watch both of these videos till the end. Before I post this video, I kept watching them again and again. And each time I watched them, I cried and have this tingling running through my spine. No wonder Allah kept playing the name of this Surah in my mind until I opened the translation and looked into it. Subhanallah..
Monday, May 31, 2010
Have Faith In Allah And Everything will be Fine
I just have the urge to write this topic because I have failed as a good muslimah and also help people that i care most to see how Allah works in our lives and what he has commanded us to do. Hopefully and maybe they might bump into my journal and in directly I can send the message across. I am still struggling to better myself to be a better muslimah which I still need to work really hard on it because I am NO angel myself, in fact I am a devil myself trying to change to be a good Muslimah but it's really tough and as long as I believe Allah is merciful and Most Forgiving, I know He will help me. I can only pray for Allah to shine some lights in our hearts just I see some acquaintances that are married flirt with different men at one time and some have sex with different men when they have husbands and as their acquaintance I wish I can tell them ITS WRONG but somehow I just couldn't open my mouth because like I said I am no Angel myself though I don't sleep around but in my life I have committed other sins. And i also see how some friends got into anxiety because they have unnecessary worries on their mind. They worried about money, worried about going to be poor someday and other things related to "dunia" but never about the preparation for the Hereafter. The iman became low when they are tested and when they can't get enough with what Allah has bestowed upon them.Our heart pounds before a presentation or a big exam. We get butterflies before a blind date. We worry and fret over family problems and constantly worry about money and future which is still a mystery.And the worries and fears are preventing us from living our life the way we'd like to, we may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. It’s normal to worry and feel tense or scared when under pressure or facing a stressful situation. Anxiety is the body’s natural response to danger, an automatic alarm that goes off when we feel threatened.
But then, most of us get so distressed with the things related to "dunia"(worldly stuffs). But why? Why the worldly stuff so important to most people? Is this something between Hell and Heaven? People forgot to ask themselves these things.."1. if i chase the worldly stuffs, would that gain me rewards or would i gain Allah's love and pleasure? Why didn't I have full trust and conviction in Allah? Ive done my best and the rest is up to Allah. Why do I get so distresses about something of this dunia?
2. Did I ever act this way regarding my prayer?
3. Did I act this way to the fact that I didn't wear a proper Hijab?
4. Did I act this way because I didn't honor my parents enough?
5. Did I ever get this distressed because I don't have enough knowledge about Islam?
I was reading this book called Ideal Muslimah and the very first statement of the book was :“ The Believing Woman is Alert
One of the most prominent distinguishing features of the Muslim woman is her deep faith in Allah (SWT), and her sincere conviction that whatever happens in this universe, and whatever fate befalls human beings, only happens through the will and decree of Allah (SWT); whatever befalls a person could not have been avoided, and whatever does not happen to a person could not have been made to happen. A person has no choice in this life but to strive towards the right path and to do good deeds - acts of worship and other acts - by whatever means one can, putting all his trust in Allah (SWT), submitting to His will, and believing that he is always in need of Allah's (SWT) help and support.”
Why would our iman get so low and often people get so distressed and impatient for the things in this dunia. Why don't us all have the patience as Allah has commanded us to have? Remember if we do something for the pleasure of Allah, Allah will take care of us. That's for sure. People always got themselves into trouble and difficult situations because of dunia. We should strive our best in worshiping Allah according to Quran and the authentic Sunnah. It's really sad that some of my friends told me that, I believe in Quran only and NOT the hadith. God have mercy on them. The thing is...believing in Quran and NOT practicing it, I guess it defeats the purpose too.Day by day, i try to better myself and hope one day if Allah permits, I will get married and when that happen, I hope my husband then will be my IMAM in all my 5 times prayer. I really wish for that moment. “ Islam should not revolve around your life, your life should revolve around Islam. “
Sunday, May 30, 2010
A Dua For You & Me
You never know when Allah(SWT) is going to bless you. Good things happen when u least expect them to.
Oh Allah, I thank You for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning. I'm blessed because You are forgiving, Allah and understanding, Allah. You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me. Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said or thought that was not pleasing to You. I ask now for Your
forgiveness. Please keep me safe from all danger and harm. Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude. Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You. Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things. Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over. And It's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits. Continue to use me to do what You will, Oh Allah Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others. Keep me strong that I may help the weak... Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others. I make duah for those that are lost and can't find their way. I make duah for those that are misjudged and misunderstood. I make duah for those who don't know You . I make duah for those who read this journal of mine. I make duah for those that don't believe. But I thank You that I believe. I believe that Allah (Swt) changes people and Allah (Swt) changes things. I make duah for all my sisters and brothers. For each and every family member in their households. I make duah for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debt and all their needs are met.. make duah that every eye that reads this knows there is no problem, circumstance, or situation greater than our Rabb. Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight. I make duah that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees it, Inshallah (Ameen)
Gladly beyond any experience
Your eyes have their silence
And your most frail gesture of things
Which enclose me
But which I cannot touch
Because they are too near.�
The first time I loved forever
Was when you whispered my name
And I knew at once you loved me
For the me of who I am
The first time I loved forever
I cast all else aside
And I bid my heart to follow
Be there no more need to hide
And if wishes and dreams
Are merely for children
And if love's a tale for fools
I'll live the dream with you
Poem:
�oh, if your words be to close me
I, my life will shut, very beautifully
Suddenly, as when the heart of this flower
Imagines the snow carefully, everywhere
descending�.
For all my life and forever
There's a truth I will always know
When my world divides and shatters
Your love is where I'll go
Poem:
�I do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens. Only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses.
Nobody, not even the rain has such small hands.�
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Time for Ellie
Maybe it's my hormonal imbalance again that I am feeling like this. I just want to say that I am no longer strong like before.I used to live a hectic life. I was so workaholic and if I am not at work, I was attending to people and their problems. Now I have lost all those strength. Maybe this is God's way of wanting me to slow down in life and pull my horses. Maybe it's his way of telling me to pass the world's problem to Him for I am only His small little weak servant.
Sometimes it get so hard to be strong all the time, sometime I just want to stop worrying about being the stronger person, and just let my weak side show a bit. But most of the time, I just show that i am strong, no matter how I am feeling on the inside. It just gets tiring sometimes. Always having to be strong can be really hard, and really frustrating sometimes. Sometimes I just can't handle it, and want an escape from it all!
Don't get me wrong, I AM a strong person, I know this. And I DON'T mind being the strong one, no I LOVE being the strong one for ppl. But sometimes I feel like "I" need that moment of weakness. To cry on someones shoulder and ask for help. But its a hard thing to ask for when I have NEVER been able to do that before. I want to be strong for everyone else, but I also want to have those moments................
Being strong is something I've always been forced to be, whether I wanted to or not. My teenage life was difficult, and I felt like a lot of times I had to "suck things up," act like the eldest, or deal with everyone else's problems. I had no choice but to be strong. Sometimes though, I wish I had the chance to just crumble down like everyone else does, but I feel this urge that I just can't let that happen, that I have to stay strong and protect everyone, and then I tend to forget about myself. Strength is a great thing but after awhile it's so sickening. I can't always be everyone's rock when I can barely be my own.
Friday, May 21, 2010
Specially To My Beloved Papa With Lots Of Love
I have been wanting to pen down a special journal, tribute to my beloved dad for quite sometime but i can never get the right words to express my gratitude to this very special man whom I call "papa". There is no word in the world best dictionary that can describe him.
It's never been one special thing that my father has done but all the special things he has gone out of his way to do. He has worked days on end in dirty dead end jobs just to put food on the table. I'm sure there were times when he went hungry just to feed us. After working a full day he would come home and spend hours playing with me when I was little. My dad is always quiet and understanding where others would have lost their temper.
He is a man with few words..well I must say ever since mama passed away 14 years ago, he is mostly in his own world making himself closer to the Almighty. Many have asked him, why not marry another? His answer will always be "32". It means that if there is a month that has 32days, then he shall get marry on that day.
At the age of 74, he is still a very strong man and Sundays? Sunday is the day he will cook luxurious for his grown up children. Sunday is always a big feast at home. I simple have to thank the Almighty for giving me the best mom and dad anyone could ever asked for. So here is something for my beloved papa
What Makes A Dad
God took the strength of a mountain
The Majesty of a tree
The warmth of the summer sun
The calm of the quiet sea
The generous soul of nature
The comforting arm of night
The wisdom of ages
The Power of the eagle's flight
The joy of the morning spring
The faith of the mustard seed
The patience of eternity
The depth of the family need
Then God combined these qualities
when there was nothing more to add
He knew His masterpiece was complete
And so,
He called it....DAD
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
To My Qel....LOL!
One night, Ellie was fondly thinking of her fiance Qel. His birthday was coming up and she wanted to do something extra special for him. So, she decided to ask God for help.
Ellie called out "God?"
God replied "Yes, my dear Ellie?"
Ellie asked : I think that my boyfriend, Qel , is the most wonderful man. He makes me so very very happy. God I want to do the same for him. Change me into the woman that Qel will think is the most beautiful, the most kind, the most affectionate and the most loving."
God asked "Are u you SURE that's what you want?"
Ellie replied "Yes. Yes, I am sure".
God answered "Very well Ellie, go to sleep and rest, for when you wake up tomorrow morning you will have your wish".
Ellie was very excited, but eventually she fell into deep deep sleep. When she awoke the next morning, she remembered the promise God made to her. She prang out of bed and ran to the mirror to see what she looked like. What she saw was a woman with no make up on and uncombed hair. Ellie recoqnised her. It was the same woman that greeted her at the mirror every morning.
Ellie cried out "God!!"
God replied "Yes my dear Ellie?"
An exasperated Ellie said "You said while I slept, You would change me into a woman of Qel's dream. I woke up this morning, I look EXACTLY the same, I feel EXACTLY the same."
God answered " My dear Ellie, I did not say I would change you into the woman of Qel's dream while you slept. I said, when you awoke, you would have your wish. I didn't take interest in your request just last night. I have been working on that since you were in your mother's womb. I have working on your wish for the last 40 years. I haven't made you into the woman of his dream. Ellie, I have made you into the woman BEYOND his dream....
Hehehehehehe...sorrryyyy sayang! Just a story that made me a lil vain huh?? Love you very very much
To People I Call "Friend"..
A true friend is not necessary be someone who is not blood related to us. This person can be your own family, your other half or can be someone whom you just met on a bus to work. As for me, my truest friend in human form was always my late mom but of course the truest truest friend I have and will always have that will never let me down will have to be the Almighty God. I have only few friends that I really considered "friends" and close friends i think i only need one hand to count..well actually I can count with no extra fingers needed. The rest are just acquaintances. True friends are hard to find but you will know who are your true friends when you are being tested in a clammy situation I must say.
A true friend will be there for you through thick and thin – good times and bad. It isn't too difficult to be friends with someone when life is filled with happiness and peace. It is something altogether different to have a friend who shares in your sadness and stays beside you even when things aren't going well.When strong friendships exist, mutual caring is evident. Doing things for one another, without expecting to have something done in return, is a sign of genuine friendship. So is being thoughtful and listening to friends when they need to open up.
When a friend is going through troubled times, being there to encourage them, even if it's just being a shoulder to cry on or to simply listen, can make all the difference in the world. Even when things are going great, having someone recognize and appreciate your accomplishments can be just as important. With so much emphasis placed on success and accomplishment this in this day and age, having someone to witness your achievements can make even the minor victories meaningful.
Unfortunately, sometimes, loyalty can be tested. We've all had situations where someone we'd consider a true friend has let us down. Friends, even true friends, are still human and because they're human they can make mistakes. Forgiveness is essential in friendships. Accepting a friend even though they may make a mistake shows them that you respect them enough to realize they're human.
No one is perfect. Have you always lived up to your highest potential? Sometimes, we can be the cause of problems that create negative effects for people who were counting on us. Because of this, friendships can be tested. A true friend accepts you, faults and all, though. A genuine friend understands that you make mistakes
Monday, May 17, 2010
Miss Qel after 11 days Qhe took care of me
Its been 11 days since my operation and during that 11 days, Qel took care of me. Today at 9.45am, finally he went back to Kulim to top up stocks at his shop and also Nisha needs him. Today the house seems to be so quiet after he left. During that 11 days I felt like I have a husband for a moment. Also miss his niece Fadi who came to sleep over at my place during his stay. Qel was the first person I saw when I opened my eyes after my operation.
I wish I can thank Qel enough for being with me during the past 11 days and putting up with my cranky mood after the operation. Even though I had a major operation, I have no pantang. Qel just couldn't say a word about how i couldn't sit still after the operation. 1st day after operation I had Ketam, and prawns which my uncle cooked specially for me and spaghetti with huge prawns cooked by my Chef brother, Ted.(people said that's the biggest pantang for patient who undergo operations). On the 4th day i was discharged and same day i started driving my car with the post operation pain I still have. 2nd day I drove Qel to Sunway Pyramid just because I wanted to eat something.
I am glad that Qel find comfortable staying at my house with my dad, kids and niece and even his niece Fadi enjoyed moments sleeping at my house. Oh yesterday Qel helped me to decorate my walking stick because he knew my frustration I am feeling deep inside me just because i felt handicapped having to walk with a walking stick and when we were at Sunway, I was so touched when he hold my hand tight while walking. He wasn't ashamed walking with a girlfriend who uses walking stick and despite knowing she has bone cancer he still loves me.
I guess Allah blesses me with a kind partner and at the same time giving me cancer and the operation i had to go through as a cleanser to my sins.
I wish I can thank Qel enough for being with me during the past 11 days and putting up with my cranky mood after the operation. Even though I had a major operation, I have no pantang. Qel just couldn't say a word about how i couldn't sit still after the operation. 1st day after operation I had Ketam, and prawns which my uncle cooked specially for me and spaghetti with huge prawns cooked by my Chef brother, Ted.(people said that's the biggest pantang for patient who undergo operations). On the 4th day i was discharged and same day i started driving my car with the post operation pain I still have. 2nd day I drove Qel to Sunway Pyramid just because I wanted to eat something.
I am glad that Qel find comfortable staying at my house with my dad, kids and niece and even his niece Fadi enjoyed moments sleeping at my house. Oh yesterday Qel helped me to decorate my walking stick because he knew my frustration I am feeling deep inside me just because i felt handicapped having to walk with a walking stick and when we were at Sunway, I was so touched when he hold my hand tight while walking. He wasn't ashamed walking with a girlfriend who uses walking stick and despite knowing she has bone cancer he still loves me.
I guess Allah blesses me with a kind partner and at the same time giving me cancer and the operation i had to go through as a cleanser to my sins.
Friday, May 14, 2010
My mood swing is killing me softly
After i got out of the hospital, i found myself snapping at people, especially at Qel, fighting those mood swings, not wanting to work and a few other things, including just wanting to be left alone. Even when I were at the hospital, I requested not to have visitors from the office except my immediate family members.
Before I was hospitalised recently, my gynecology told me that the level of my hormone was increasing and the heavy bleeding that comes from my uterus were unexplainable. For 2 months, it was like hell for me. The pain and the heavy bleeding , I had to do my blood test twice a week to see my hormone reading and also scanning of my uterus and I had to go through it alone . Yes Qel did the extra prayers so that Allah would take away my suffering but he didn't go through the pain and the mood swing that I had to go through.Until my recent operation to remove my right tube and my left ovary, I am still having my hormonal imbalance.
I am experiencing a roller coaster of emotions such as numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, and difficulty concentrating and it got worst after my operation. From the moment I woke up after the operation until now my emotion has been like a roller coaster. Qel came to KL on the day I had my operation and he is still here with me. But after the operation, my heart just felt numb. I became confused to of my own feelings. I got scared when I thought of marriage and I got scared with the thought of having a relationship.
A couple of days ago, I even felt that I want a break in my relationship. I called up my doctor and asked her if this is normal and she told me that its my hormone trying to set back to a normal level but sometimes its gonna take a while. Feel so alone and sad. My niece told me that each time I feel like getting angry, take a deep breath and exhale (repeat it 3 times).
My doctor also told me that most likely its got to do with my cancer. After going through cancer I learn pretty quickly who really cares and will take the time to talk with me It is frustrating when people I love don't understand anything about what I have gone through and are still going through. I have good days and painful days and I can't be expected to live by any schedule.
3 days ago,Qel told me he has trouble to cope with my mood swing lately. I am one year into recovery and keep hoping that it gets better, but the mood swings seem to increase! Combination of self pity, fear, and anger- on the bad days. Tell yourself why you feel that way on the good days, but when the bad days show up no logical thinking helps.
My ex GM told me.."Ellie, do some therapeutic cooking while I am on long medical leave...it will help to heal your hormonal imbalance". I will just do that i guess..
Before I was hospitalised recently, my gynecology told me that the level of my hormone was increasing and the heavy bleeding that comes from my uterus were unexplainable. For 2 months, it was like hell for me. The pain and the heavy bleeding , I had to do my blood test twice a week to see my hormone reading and also scanning of my uterus and I had to go through it alone . Yes Qel did the extra prayers so that Allah would take away my suffering but he didn't go through the pain and the mood swing that I had to go through.Until my recent operation to remove my right tube and my left ovary, I am still having my hormonal imbalance.
I am experiencing a roller coaster of emotions such as numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, and difficulty concentrating and it got worst after my operation. From the moment I woke up after the operation until now my emotion has been like a roller coaster. Qel came to KL on the day I had my operation and he is still here with me. But after the operation, my heart just felt numb. I became confused to of my own feelings. I got scared when I thought of marriage and I got scared with the thought of having a relationship.
A couple of days ago, I even felt that I want a break in my relationship. I called up my doctor and asked her if this is normal and she told me that its my hormone trying to set back to a normal level but sometimes its gonna take a while. Feel so alone and sad. My niece told me that each time I feel like getting angry, take a deep breath and exhale (repeat it 3 times).
My doctor also told me that most likely its got to do with my cancer. After going through cancer I learn pretty quickly who really cares and will take the time to talk with me It is frustrating when people I love don't understand anything about what I have gone through and are still going through. I have good days and painful days and I can't be expected to live by any schedule.
3 days ago,Qel told me he has trouble to cope with my mood swing lately. I am one year into recovery and keep hoping that it gets better, but the mood swings seem to increase! Combination of self pity, fear, and anger- on the bad days. Tell yourself why you feel that way on the good days, but when the bad days show up no logical thinking helps.
My ex GM told me.."Ellie, do some therapeutic cooking while I am on long medical leave...it will help to heal your hormonal imbalance". I will just do that i guess..
Monday, May 10, 2010
My Operation At UMMC-3rd - 7th May 2010
It all started on 3rd May Monday morning at 2 am, when I suddenly felt an uncomfortable sensation on my left leg. It went up to my tummy which turned into an unbearable pain. I felt like being stabbed repeatedly that area that made my whole body shiver. I went to the bathroom and sat on the white marble throne hoping to ease whatever pain inside my tummy. Suddenly when I wanted to get up I just couldn’t do it. I had to call papa to help me get up and lead me to my bed. From that point onwards my condition got even worse.
Seeing the condition his daughter was in, papa tried whatever he could to help ease her discomfort. He put ointment to rub on my tummy to alleviate the pain. He even recited the verses from the Quran in the hope that divine intervention would help me. But the pain persisted.
There was no let up to my suffering. The pain got worse and worse so much so that my whole body cringed to resist the pain. My condition even drove my dad to tears. By 5 o’clock in the morning my condition got so unbearable that I had to seek the help of my ex husband to take me to the nearest clinic. The moment the doctor scanned, he saw a 7 cm cyst in my left ovary. Immediately he gave me a letter to go to the hospital for further treatment.
Papa and my best friend, Nini took me to the Universiti Malaya Medical Centre at about 9 pm the same day. We waited there for over 8 hours before we got to see the doctor, at 5.30am. That was the longest and most painful wait I have ever experienced in my life. I was immediately warded and scheduled for operation when it was also discovered that I had a cyst the size of a 50 cents coin in my right fallopian tube. I text my Human Resource to inform him of my hospitalization and I also requested that I don’t wish to have any visitors from the office due to my complication. It wasn’t just the cyst but it was more than that.
At 9 am on Wednesday, Professor Azmi came to check on me and the moment he put his hand into my v*&%*@, I screamed because of the pain. He instructed the MOs to do an emergency operation on me. He asked me if I would like to have anymore kids in the future because they need to remove some parts of my reproduction organ. My answer was “No..! Go ahead and remove what’s necessary and by 2pm on the same day, they wheeled me into the operation theatre. I was opened up at the same place when I had caesarian section twice before. As the surgeon was about to take out the cyst on the left side, it burst. Another surgeon had to be called to suck out the liquid and the dilapidated cyst away. On the right side of my ovary, the alien growth was removed by surgically removing the whole fallopian tube away.
The whole operation took about four and a half hours. I was wheeled back to my ward at about 6.30 pm still in a state of semi-consciousness. The first person I saw beside my bed when I opened my eyes was my darling Qel. Since I was still overcame by sedation and post-operation discomfort I could not say much. I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep. Only with the help of the morphine infused into my blood-stream that I was able to bear the pain, more or less. All that time recovering in bed I wished I don’t have to go through the experience ever again. I have been bleeding since Mid March and have had a few attacks of unbearable pains.
Below are the pictures of me hospitalized and recovering from my operation.
Qel came to visit me after the operation. This was taken on the 2nd day after the operation. Was still attached to the Morphin shots to overcome the post operation pain
My Darling Dad(in lite blue shirt R/hd) who have been with me through out the tortured 2 months I went through the complication. In the picture are also my cousin Razman(standing), my uncle Pak Wan( on the wheel chair) and Pak Wan's maid Nor
My Younger Brother Chef Norman brought me his own cooking, Spaghetti with Creme Sauce. He had to feed me as I was still in pain though I was smiling...
On 2nd day after a major operation, Qel's mom called to advice me not to eat that and this but unfortunately I don't have this pantang thingy in my vocabulary. After operation I had prawns and crab already and i refused to use the Morphin shots as I kept telling Qel, I am a strong chick.
Seeing the condition his daughter was in, papa tried whatever he could to help ease her discomfort. He put ointment to rub on my tummy to alleviate the pain. He even recited the verses from the Quran in the hope that divine intervention would help me. But the pain persisted.
There was no let up to my suffering. The pain got worse and worse so much so that my whole body cringed to resist the pain. My condition even drove my dad to tears. By 5 o’clock in the morning my condition got so unbearable that I had to seek the help of my ex husband to take me to the nearest clinic. The moment the doctor scanned, he saw a 7 cm cyst in my left ovary. Immediately he gave me a letter to go to the hospital for further treatment.
Papa and my best friend, Nini took me to the Universiti Malaya Medical Centre at about 9 pm the same day. We waited there for over 8 hours before we got to see the doctor, at 5.30am. That was the longest and most painful wait I have ever experienced in my life. I was immediately warded and scheduled for operation when it was also discovered that I had a cyst the size of a 50 cents coin in my right fallopian tube. I text my Human Resource to inform him of my hospitalization and I also requested that I don’t wish to have any visitors from the office due to my complication. It wasn’t just the cyst but it was more than that.
At 9 am on Wednesday, Professor Azmi came to check on me and the moment he put his hand into my v*&%*@, I screamed because of the pain. He instructed the MOs to do an emergency operation on me. He asked me if I would like to have anymore kids in the future because they need to remove some parts of my reproduction organ. My answer was “No..! Go ahead and remove what’s necessary and by 2pm on the same day, they wheeled me into the operation theatre. I was opened up at the same place when I had caesarian section twice before. As the surgeon was about to take out the cyst on the left side, it burst. Another surgeon had to be called to suck out the liquid and the dilapidated cyst away. On the right side of my ovary, the alien growth was removed by surgically removing the whole fallopian tube away.
The whole operation took about four and a half hours. I was wheeled back to my ward at about 6.30 pm still in a state of semi-consciousness. The first person I saw beside my bed when I opened my eyes was my darling Qel. Since I was still overcame by sedation and post-operation discomfort I could not say much. I just wanted to close my eyes and go to sleep. Only with the help of the morphine infused into my blood-stream that I was able to bear the pain, more or less. All that time recovering in bed I wished I don’t have to go through the experience ever again. I have been bleeding since Mid March and have had a few attacks of unbearable pains.
Below are the pictures of me hospitalized and recovering from my operation.
Qel came to visit me after the operation. This was taken on the 2nd day after the operation. Was still attached to the Morphin shots to overcome the post operation pain
My Darling Dad(in lite blue shirt R/hd) who have been with me through out the tortured 2 months I went through the complication. In the picture are also my cousin Razman(standing), my uncle Pak Wan( on the wheel chair) and Pak Wan's maid Nor
My Younger Brother Chef Norman brought me his own cooking, Spaghetti with Creme Sauce. He had to feed me as I was still in pain though I was smiling...
On 2nd day after a major operation, Qel's mom called to advice me not to eat that and this but unfortunately I don't have this pantang thingy in my vocabulary. After operation I had prawns and crab already and i refused to use the Morphin shots as I kept telling Qel, I am a strong chick.Friday, April 30, 2010
Thank you Sheila for the Song-NEVER GIVE UP
Finding your way in this world can be an uphill battle. Some seem to get what they want or need almost effortlessly, while others seem to fight a constant battle, with unimaginable obstacles. If you have a dream and have to struggle to make it come true, at which point do you give up? "Give up? Is that even in your vocabulary?"Well at one point I almost give up with my life when I got the news of my relapsed but Qel was telling me he will NEVER GIVE UP ON ME..and that he said I should not give up too because he will always hold my hand and walk this journey WITH ME even if I am handicap.
When you have a dream,then you must pursue it. Some dreams may take a lifetime to see fulfilled, and some may not be filled until we are gone, but, keeping the dream alive is what keeps you alive. So, why then don't you make your dream come true?
Dreams are only dreams until they are put into action. Walt Disney said "All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." You must first dare to dream, then from the dream comes a plan of action. For without action the dream will remain dormant and unfulfilled.
Though obstacles will arise and moments of fear and doubt may wish to discourage, a dream to succeed becomes a reality with persistence and determination.Only God knows my inner feelings..
If you ask any famous entrepreneur how they got where they are today, they would tell you be being persistent.That's what my boss En Azli always tell me..PERSISTENT Not one of them got there over night or easily. Their success was the direct result of many failings. The best thing about failure is it becomes an ingredient in the end result of a fulfilled dream.My dream is not about wanting to be a successful entrepreneur but well lets just say "Its my personal dream"
Success is a recipe. It requires many parts to make it whole. Those who get to the top fast without much struggle are more likely to crash faster and harder than those who took the hard road. Hard work is the glory. When you get to your dream and look back upon the struggle, there is a true sense of pride and accomplishment knowing you continued to follow this dream, despite all challenges.
When you have a dream,then you must pursue it. Some dreams may take a lifetime to see fulfilled, and some may not be filled until we are gone, but, keeping the dream alive is what keeps you alive. So, why then don't you make your dream come true?
Dreams are only dreams until they are put into action. Walt Disney said "All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them." You must first dare to dream, then from the dream comes a plan of action. For without action the dream will remain dormant and unfulfilled.
Though obstacles will arise and moments of fear and doubt may wish to discourage, a dream to succeed becomes a reality with persistence and determination.Only God knows my inner feelings..
If you ask any famous entrepreneur how they got where they are today, they would tell you be being persistent.That's what my boss En Azli always tell me..PERSISTENT Not one of them got there over night or easily. Their success was the direct result of many failings. The best thing about failure is it becomes an ingredient in the end result of a fulfilled dream.My dream is not about wanting to be a successful entrepreneur but well lets just say "Its my personal dream"
Success is a recipe. It requires many parts to make it whole. Those who get to the top fast without much struggle are more likely to crash faster and harder than those who took the hard road. Hard work is the glory. When you get to your dream and look back upon the struggle, there is a true sense of pride and accomplishment knowing you continued to follow this dream, despite all challenges.
A Simple Reminder
The message as the title suggests is A Simple Reminder, a message i too had forgotten but Alhumdullilah i was reminded of it now and felt it is a good reminder for you too.
Does Black Magic Really Exist or its just in one's mind!
What is black magic? I heard that it’s a spell that can hurt someone even if you are a good person. Does it exist or not?
The past 3 weeks, I have strangers coming to me and warned me to be careful with those people around me. Just like yesterday, after I had lunch with my friend Sheila at Ampang Point, we stopped at this kiosk selling head scarfs. I am not the type of person who likes to wear fashionable headscarfs but just plain black. So I don't really bother to buy new ones. But yesterday, I dunno why but I just decided to stop and tried a few.
The sale person who is in her early 20s while putting on the headscarf for me, she suddenly said , "Kak boleh saya cakap sikit?(Sis, can I tell you something?)". I looked at her and said sure go ahead. Then she said " Kak hati-hati ya."(Sis, Please be careful yeah). I thought she was just telling me to be careful of pick pockets or snatch thief but then she continued."Ramai orang dengki dekat akak and sekarang guna ilmu hitam buat akak sakit and orang-orang ni takkan berhenti hingga akak hancur".(You have lots of people envy and at the moment are casting black magic spell against you and they will not stop until you are totally destroyed). So I told her, that me using the walking stick has nothing to do with black magic but due to my bone cancer. Then she told me that not about my walking stick but the bleeding i have been having since March.
I looked at her in silence and then she told me that she is from Sabah and that she has this ability to see. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to be careful because she is the 3rd person in 3 weeks.
1. As much as i know it exists but to me there is no power except Allah's, so I am not gonna be afraid and shall just pray to Him and redha. No way I am gonna see people so called "Orang Alim" 2. To me they can do what they want to do as long as I keep on forgiving them, I will not fall into the category of SHIRIK/ Kufr. Last week a client called just to tell me the same but only a little bit detail saying that this people are using Indonesian black magic. Why be afraid. Things happen only with HIS PERMISSION.
Black magic does exist and it was even performed on the Prophet of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace).
The past 3 weeks, I have strangers coming to me and warned me to be careful with those people around me. Just like yesterday, after I had lunch with my friend Sheila at Ampang Point, we stopped at this kiosk selling head scarfs. I am not the type of person who likes to wear fashionable headscarfs but just plain black. So I don't really bother to buy new ones. But yesterday, I dunno why but I just decided to stop and tried a few.
The sale person who is in her early 20s while putting on the headscarf for me, she suddenly said , "Kak boleh saya cakap sikit?(Sis, can I tell you something?)". I looked at her and said sure go ahead. Then she said " Kak hati-hati ya."(Sis, Please be careful yeah). I thought she was just telling me to be careful of pick pockets or snatch thief but then she continued."Ramai orang dengki dekat akak and sekarang guna ilmu hitam buat akak sakit and orang-orang ni takkan berhenti hingga akak hancur".(You have lots of people envy and at the moment are casting black magic spell against you and they will not stop until you are totally destroyed). So I told her, that me using the walking stick has nothing to do with black magic but due to my bone cancer. Then she told me that not about my walking stick but the bleeding i have been having since March.
I looked at her in silence and then she told me that she is from Sabah and that she has this ability to see. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to be careful because she is the 3rd person in 3 weeks.
1. As much as i know it exists but to me there is no power except Allah's, so I am not gonna be afraid and shall just pray to Him and redha. No way I am gonna see people so called "Orang Alim" 2. To me they can do what they want to do as long as I keep on forgiving them, I will not fall into the category of SHIRIK/ Kufr. Last week a client called just to tell me the same but only a little bit detail saying that this people are using Indonesian black magic. Why be afraid. Things happen only with HIS PERMISSION.
Black magic does exist and it was even performed on the Prophet of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace).
‘A Jew by the name of Labid ibn Asim who outwardly posed to be a believer (Munafiq) carried out black magic on the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace). He took the hair of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) and made eleven knots and placed it under a rock in a well called Zarwan.
The effect of this was that it created uncertainty in the mind of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) as to whether he had done or not done certain things (although this had no effect on his religious and prophetic obligations)
At times the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) felt he had accomplished something yet he had not done so and vice versa. The angel Jibra’il informed the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) as to what had occurred and came down with the two Surahs, namely Surah al-Falaq and Surah an-Nas. The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) together with the Companions (Allah be pleased with them all) went to the well and removed the knotted hair. As each verse was recited, the knots untied miraculously.
At the eleventh knot, the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) was relieved from the effects of this black magic. [See: Tafsir Ibn Kathir & Ma’arif al-Qur’an]
'Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates:
“Whenever the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would become ill, he would recite the Mu’awwizat (Surah al-Falaq & Surah an-Nas) and blow over himself. When his illness was aggravated, I used to recite these two Surahs (and blow my breath) over him and make him rub his body with his own hand, for its blessings.” [Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 4728]Also, the consuming of Ajwa dates has been prescribed by the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) as a remedy for black magic. Amir ibn Sa’d narrates from his father that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) said:
‘“He who eats seven Ajwa dates every morning, will not be affected by poison or magic on the day he eats them.” [Sahih al-Bukhari, no. 5130]
May Allah forgive those who practice BLACK MAGIC and open their heart to the right path.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
When You Love SomeOne Let Them Know
One fine day, an old couple around the age of 70, walks into a lawyer's office.
Apparently, they are there to file a divorce.
Lawyer was very puzzled, after having a chat with them, he got their story....
This couple had been quarreling all their 40 over yrs of marriage nothing ever seems to go right.
They hang on because of their children, afraid that it might affect their up-bringing. Now, all their children have already grown up, have their own family, there's nothing else the old couple have to worry about, all they wanted is to lead their own life free from all these years of unhappiness from their marriage, so both agree on a divorce....
Lawyer was having a hard time trying to get the papers done, because he felt that after 40 yrs of marriage at the age of 70, he couldnt understand why the old couple would still want a divorce..
While they were signing the papers, the wife told the husband..
"I really love u, but i really cant carry on anymore, I'm sorry.."
"Its o.k, i understand.." said the husband. Lookin at this, the lawyer suggested a dinner together, just 3 of them,wife thought, why not, since they are still gonna be friends..
At the dining table, there was a silence of awkardness.
The first dish was roasted chicken, immediately, the old man took the drumstick for the old lady.."take this, its your favourite.."
Looking at this, the lawyer thought maybe theres still a chance, but the wife was frowning when she answer.."
This is always the problem, you always think so highly of yourself, never thought about how I feel, dont you know that i hate drumsticks?"
Little did she know that, over the years, the husband have been trying all ways to please her, little did she know that drumsticks was the husband's favourite. Little did he know that she never thought he understand her at all, little did he know that she hates drummsticks even though all he wants is the best for her.
That night, both of them couldnt sleep, toss and turn, toss and turn...after hours, the old man couldnt take it anymore, he knows that he still loves her, and he cant carry on life without her, he wants her back, he wants to tell her, he is sorry, he wanted to tell her "i love you"...
He picks up the phone, starting dialing her number....ringing never stops..he never stop dialing....
On the other side, she was sad, she couldn’t understand how come after all these years, he still doesnt understand her at all, she loves him a lot, but she just cant take it anymore....phone's ringing, she refuses to answer knowing that its him..."whats the point of talking now that its over...i have ask for it and now i wanna keep it this way, if not i will lose face.."she thought...still ringing...she have decided to pull out the cord...
Little did she remember, he have heart problems...
The next day, she received news that he had passed away...she rushed down to his apartment, saw his body, lying on the couch still holding on to the phone...he had a heart attack when he was still trying to get through her phone line....
As sad as she could be...she will have to clear his belongings...when she was looking thru the drawers, she saw this insurance policy, dated from the day they got married, with the beneficiary being her... And together in those file, there was this note...
Tears flowed like river......
"When you love someone, let them know... You never know what will happen the next minute.... Learn to build a life together.. Learn to love each other. For who they are.. not what they are..."
Specially dedicated To A Friend..Coz I am Your Friend
I am writing this journal for a particular friend who is going through a separation. He will know this is for him even though I am not gonna mention his name. I pray and hope that you will not throw away a 20years old marriage.
The other day Qel asked me this question which I have no answer to it. He asked me "Why do people get married in the first place and divorced later?". I looked at him and said "I dunno sayang..because my marriage didn't work out and ended with a divorce". Then I continued again by telling him "Perhaps people just take things for granted after marriage..they just stopped doing those little things they used to do during courting.
Here is a real story which I read somewhere on the net not long ago and I like to dedicate it to a particular friend. I hope you will not get mad at me for writing this journal.
A married couple came to a counselor for advice. No sooner were they seated, than they began speaking at the same time in a duel of criticisms. When they finally stopped for lack of breath, the counselor suggested that now they tell each other all the good they see in one another.
There was total silence.
Then each was given a ball-point pen and a sheet of paper and told to write down something praiseworthy about the other. Neither of them wrote. They both sat and stared at the paper. After what seemed like a long time, the husband started to write something. At once the wife also began to write--fast and furiously. Finally, the writing stopped.
There was silence again.
The wife pushed her paper over to the watching counselor. He pushed it back signaling that she was to give it directly to her husband. She reluctantly shoved the paper halfway across the table. He took it and in turn, slid his paper towards his wife. Each began to read.
The counselor watched...Soon a tear slid down the cheek of his wife. She crumpled the paper in her fist and held it tight. That proved that she treasured the sudden revelation of good things her husband had expressed about her. The whole atmosphere of the room changed. There was no need for anything to be said. Praise had healed a thousand wounds.
The husband and wife left arm in arm.
The other day Qel asked me this question which I have no answer to it. He asked me "Why do people get married in the first place and divorced later?". I looked at him and said "I dunno sayang..because my marriage didn't work out and ended with a divorce". Then I continued again by telling him "Perhaps people just take things for granted after marriage..they just stopped doing those little things they used to do during courting.
Here is a real story which I read somewhere on the net not long ago and I like to dedicate it to a particular friend. I hope you will not get mad at me for writing this journal.
A married couple came to a counselor for advice. No sooner were they seated, than they began speaking at the same time in a duel of criticisms. When they finally stopped for lack of breath, the counselor suggested that now they tell each other all the good they see in one another.
There was total silence.
Then each was given a ball-point pen and a sheet of paper and told to write down something praiseworthy about the other. Neither of them wrote. They both sat and stared at the paper. After what seemed like a long time, the husband started to write something. At once the wife also began to write--fast and furiously. Finally, the writing stopped.
There was silence again.
The wife pushed her paper over to the watching counselor. He pushed it back signaling that she was to give it directly to her husband. She reluctantly shoved the paper halfway across the table. He took it and in turn, slid his paper towards his wife. Each began to read.
The counselor watched...Soon a tear slid down the cheek of his wife. She crumpled the paper in her fist and held it tight. That proved that she treasured the sudden revelation of good things her husband had expressed about her. The whole atmosphere of the room changed. There was no need for anything to be said. Praise had healed a thousand wounds.
The husband and wife left arm in arm.
Monday, April 26, 2010
Enjoy Your Life.....
Material things do not necessarily bring you happiness. That is a fact of life. It is a hard fact to understand sometimes, especially in a society that tries very hard to teach you otherwise.It is very common to get into a mode where you think, "If only I had object X, my life would be perfect and I would be happy." You REALLY want something: a new TV, a new car, a special pair of shoes, whatever. Then you buy it and you LOVE having it for a few days. But over time you get bored or it wears out. You can see this pattern repeated constantly in your own life. For example, your parents and grandparents likely spent thousands and thousands of ringgits on toys for you as you were growing up: Dump trucks and Barbie dolls and video games and electric cars and on and on and on. All of those toys got boring or broken or outgrown eventually. They brought happiness for a moment or a week, but over time they became worthless and your desire turned to a new object.This pattern begs the following question: "If material things bring just a temporary and short-term happiness, then what does that mean?" It might mean that you have to buy material objects at a rate of perhaps one per day to sustain the temporary and short-term high of getting something new. The problem is, that begins to sound a lot like a drug habit. This train of thinking can get you into some very deep areas.
2 weeks ago i received an interesting email from my beloved sis, Nita. Its exactly how I see life. So I'm gonna copy and paste the content of the email in this journal.
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long." they answered in unison.
"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.
We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted,
"I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day.
You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?"
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant.
You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles , or even New York City !
From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?"
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.
"After that you'll be able to retire,
live in a tiny village near the coast,
sleep late, play with your children,
catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.
And the moral of this story is:
....... Know where you're going in life.... you may already be there!!
There is a difference between material happiness, which implies having all the basic (or extravagant) comforts necessary to live life, and spiritual happiness, which implies something else altogether. I had a friend whose philosophy was this:
No matter how much u make, u always want more. So if u make RM25,000 you believe if you would just make RM50,000 you would be happy. But then u begin to make RM50,000. At that point, you believe if you would just made RM100,000, you would be happy, and so on through life. This pattern is true whether u make RM25,000 or RM100,000 a year,because as you earn more money you acquire more expensive tastes. It seems to me u might as well learn how to be happy with RM25,000 a year and figure out an easy way to earn it and then have the rest of your time free doing what u want to do.
One funny thing about all of these different areas is that none of them are taxed. You are taxed on the money you earn, and that is it. There is no knowledge tax, for example. You can learn freely throughout life and acquire a huge "bank account" of knowledge. No one can steal it or diminish it in any way. Presumably, knowledge is the one thing you might be able to take with you to Heaven.All of these alternative types of wealth are different from financial wealth, and yet all of them can be equally rewarding in their own ways. The point is that the act of buying things by itself, despite what television tells you, may not be what will bring you maximum happiness in life. Things like good friends, a loving spouse, well-raised children, a home built on love, a good relationship with God, a clear conscience, a worthy goal and a job you truly enjoy bring you contentment that lasts and has meaning. These things are often very hard for some teenagers to understand, but as you mature they become more important.As you look at the world around you and come to understand what is important to you, keep these things in mind. Think about what it is that you enjoy and what makes you truly happy. See what you find. In thinking about it consciously, you might be surprised by what you discover. Money is incredibly important—you need it to survive. But it is not the only thing you need, and money itself will not bring lasting happiness to most people. Man does not live by bread alone.
2 weeks ago i received an interesting email from my beloved sis, Nita. Its exactly how I see life. So I'm gonna copy and paste the content of the email in this journal.
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village.
A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.
"Not very long." they answered in unison.
"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"
The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.
"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"
"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs.
We have a full life."
The tourist interrupted,
"I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!
You should start by fishing longer every day.
You can then sell the extra fish you catch.
With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."
"And after that?"
"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers.
Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant.
You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles , or even New York City !
From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."
"How long would that take?"
"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.
"And after that?"
"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting, " answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"
"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen.
"After that you'll be able to retire,
live in a tiny village near the coast,
sleep late, play with your children,
catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."
"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.
And the moral of this story is:
....... Know where you're going in life.... you may already be there!!
There is a difference between material happiness, which implies having all the basic (or extravagant) comforts necessary to live life, and spiritual happiness, which implies something else altogether. I had a friend whose philosophy was this:
No matter how much u make, u always want more. So if u make RM25,000 you believe if you would just make RM50,000 you would be happy. But then u begin to make RM50,000. At that point, you believe if you would just made RM100,000, you would be happy, and so on through life. This pattern is true whether u make RM25,000 or RM100,000 a year,because as you earn more money you acquire more expensive tastes. It seems to me u might as well learn how to be happy with RM25,000 a year and figure out an easy way to earn it and then have the rest of your time free doing what u want to do.
One funny thing about all of these different areas is that none of them are taxed. You are taxed on the money you earn, and that is it. There is no knowledge tax, for example. You can learn freely throughout life and acquire a huge "bank account" of knowledge. No one can steal it or diminish it in any way. Presumably, knowledge is the one thing you might be able to take with you to Heaven.All of these alternative types of wealth are different from financial wealth, and yet all of them can be equally rewarding in their own ways. The point is that the act of buying things by itself, despite what television tells you, may not be what will bring you maximum happiness in life. Things like good friends, a loving spouse, well-raised children, a home built on love, a good relationship with God, a clear conscience, a worthy goal and a job you truly enjoy bring you contentment that lasts and has meaning. These things are often very hard for some teenagers to understand, but as you mature they become more important.As you look at the world around you and come to understand what is important to you, keep these things in mind. Think about what it is that you enjoy and what makes you truly happy. See what you find. In thinking about it consciously, you might be surprised by what you discover. Money is incredibly important—you need it to survive. But it is not the only thing you need, and money itself will not bring lasting happiness to most people. Man does not live by bread alone.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
My Special Surprise For my Sweetheart Qel
Thursday was the last day of DSA'10. As any other day, booth closed at 5pm. By 4pm, I asked Tuan Siva if we could packed up things at 4pm as I had to drive up to Kedah right after the event. He agreed 4pm we started packing up all the stuffs.
THURSDAY- 22/04/2010
Qel didnt know i was coming to Kulim. It was a big surprise for him. I have planned this trip about a week in advanced. The people at Kulim who knew my arrival were his family members. Even that..they knew i was arriving on Friday and not Thursday. Well I guess it was a surprise for everyone.
At 5pm finished packing everything and rushed to Ampang to pick up my niece who came along with me to Kulim. Told papa that I was heading straight to Kulim after my duty at PWTC and would not have dinner at home.
After 4 days of duty at PWTC and having to stand 12hours daily, I was damned tired especially with the heavy bleeding for the past 2 and the half months I've been facing, somehow on Thursdays despite the bleeding got heavier than other days and with heavy clots, the excitement of meeting Qel somehow have overcome my tiredness and the stomach cramp . A day before the trip I told Qel I have a surprise for him and that I WILL SEND THEM BY POST LAJU(kekekekeek). So on Thursday I purposely text him to ask if the parcel(which never exist )I sent have arrived. Innocently he said NOT YET probably tomorrow.
On the way to Kulim had to stop at a couple R & R to ease my stomach cramp and to change my pad as the bleeding was really killing me. Whole day haven't taken a single meal so decided to stop at Taiping for seafood dinner with my niece. In the car I told my niece " I hope Uncle Qel will not call and said SAYANG JOM ONLINE..coz then it will ruin the whole surprise".
True enough when we were having dinner at Taiping around 10pm, he called and said "SAYANG JOM ONLINE". Alamak! I had to lie to him and said that I was watching this movie on Astro and will get online by 11pm. HE said ok. Left Taiping at 10.20pm and drove like speedy gonzales but before JAWI interchange it was raining cats and dogs. Couldn't see the road at all so had to drive slowly. 11pm reached JAWI Interchange and after paying the toll, again I text him. I had to come up with another reason why I couldn't get online by 11pm. So I had to tell him i was running out of sanitary pad and that i had to go out for awhile.
Thought I could reached his house by 11.30 at the latest but just when i was so confident with my way to his place, I just had to enter the wrong junction after the toll. Had to call him and divert his mind to something else, so I told him that the delivery boys insisted that they sent my parcel that night itself and that they were on their way.
Qel asked me why they had to send the parcel at such late hours and what were their names? Hehehheh my niece Tiara came up with their names for the konon-konon delivery boys- GUNASEGARAN & AMAD. lol lol..Tiara said, she was Amad and I were Gunasegaran.
By 11.50pm we finally reached Qel's house. I called him and said that the delivery boys called and that they were in front of his gate. Here comes the best part, my sweetheart Qel said"Ok sayang talk to you later coz i think i can hear the car outside." He rushed to open the gate and still not realizing that the car in front of his gate was my car. Tiara and I were laughing so much and that i felt so bad. I went out of my car and the moment he saw me...he was stunt and speechless and he just put his hand at his mouth TERKEJUT. That look on his face....Is one look I can never forget and I think it took him like half and hour to realize that I was there in front of him for real and that he wasn't dreaming.
4days 3 nights we were at Kulim and despite the tummy cramp, bleeding and leg numb, I really enjoyed the trip. Missing him and his family so much now....can't wait to go there again in June.
Wonder what will be my next prank...heheheh he just have the nottiest partner.
THURSDAY- 22/04/2010
Qel didnt know i was coming to Kulim. It was a big surprise for him. I have planned this trip about a week in advanced. The people at Kulim who knew my arrival were his family members. Even that..they knew i was arriving on Friday and not Thursday. Well I guess it was a surprise for everyone.
At 5pm finished packing everything and rushed to Ampang to pick up my niece who came along with me to Kulim. Told papa that I was heading straight to Kulim after my duty at PWTC and would not have dinner at home.
After 4 days of duty at PWTC and having to stand 12hours daily, I was damned tired especially with the heavy bleeding for the past 2 and the half months I've been facing, somehow on Thursdays despite the bleeding got heavier than other days and with heavy clots, the excitement of meeting Qel somehow have overcome my tiredness and the stomach cramp . A day before the trip I told Qel I have a surprise for him and that I WILL SEND THEM BY POST LAJU(kekekekeek). So on Thursday I purposely text him to ask if the parcel(which never exist )I sent have arrived. Innocently he said NOT YET probably tomorrow.
On the way to Kulim had to stop at a couple R & R to ease my stomach cramp and to change my pad as the bleeding was really killing me. Whole day haven't taken a single meal so decided to stop at Taiping for seafood dinner with my niece. In the car I told my niece " I hope Uncle Qel will not call and said SAYANG JOM ONLINE..coz then it will ruin the whole surprise".
True enough when we were having dinner at Taiping around 10pm, he called and said "SAYANG JOM ONLINE". Alamak! I had to lie to him and said that I was watching this movie on Astro and will get online by 11pm. HE said ok. Left Taiping at 10.20pm and drove like speedy gonzales but before JAWI interchange it was raining cats and dogs. Couldn't see the road at all so had to drive slowly. 11pm reached JAWI Interchange and after paying the toll, again I text him. I had to come up with another reason why I couldn't get online by 11pm. So I had to tell him i was running out of sanitary pad and that i had to go out for awhile.
Thought I could reached his house by 11.30 at the latest but just when i was so confident with my way to his place, I just had to enter the wrong junction after the toll. Had to call him and divert his mind to something else, so I told him that the delivery boys insisted that they sent my parcel that night itself and that they were on their way.
Qel asked me why they had to send the parcel at such late hours and what were their names? Hehehheh my niece Tiara came up with their names for the konon-konon delivery boys- GUNASEGARAN & AMAD. lol lol..Tiara said, she was Amad and I were Gunasegaran.
By 11.50pm we finally reached Qel's house. I called him and said that the delivery boys called and that they were in front of his gate. Here comes the best part, my sweetheart Qel said"Ok sayang talk to you later coz i think i can hear the car outside." He rushed to open the gate and still not realizing that the car in front of his gate was my car. Tiara and I were laughing so much and that i felt so bad. I went out of my car and the moment he saw me...he was stunt and speechless and he just put his hand at his mouth TERKEJUT. That look on his face....Is one look I can never forget and I think it took him like half and hour to realize that I was there in front of him for real and that he wasn't dreaming.
4days 3 nights we were at Kulim and despite the tummy cramp, bleeding and leg numb, I really enjoyed the trip. Missing him and his family so much now....can't wait to go there again in June.
Wonder what will be my next prank...heheheh he just have the nottiest partner.
Wish You Have Some DIGNITY
Today was my second day on duty at the DSA’10. Today I decided to take the train because yesterday had to pay RM18.00 for the parking and on top of that the traffic jam I got stuck in was really petrol consuming. 8.00am reached Putra Komuter Station. For Hall 4, I was the earliest to reach coz there wasn’t a single soul except me and the mannequin.
My tech reached PWTC just 10mins after me and we started doing the setting up. The internet is always the problem.
At 9am another staff of mine text me and said “I’m having breakfast at Pan Pac and would be at the hall by 9.45am. To me with or without her makes no different. (Yes I am very very mad when I am writing this journal and NO I’m not mad because she had breakfast, lunch & tea break at Pan Pac but….here’s why!)
I am not gonna write in detail what really made me upset but all I can say is that I hate when people used my name for his/her own benefit. Yes I am sick, and yes the doctor has asked me to use a walking stick because of my bone cancer and yes I’ve been bleeding the past 3 weeks which doctor herself can’t even tell me why, but I am still bloody strong to work. I am not a weak person and I don’t need anyone’s help.
But when someone uses my name to get away from work..I will be DAMN PISSED!!!. Telling HR that she needs to cover me up because I am sick, I can’t walk?? For God sake for their own benefit... How much more do people need to ruin my reputation? Some people can be so despicable.
Well I am not gonna do anything about it because I believe WHAT COMES AROUND GOES AROUND.
Here are some of the picture taken during my days at the DSA'10 exhibition. Do I look sick??
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So this journal is specially dedicated to my client/friend/big brother SUPT ALWEE AB GHANI who was and will always be dear to me. Will miss you Tuan. Al- Fatihah.
Thanx isteri ku, along, alang, wanie + Qilah and Nuar, nana & ayien for a wonderful time together2. Tis is jez a beginning. meh arrr mklong + fam, mklang + fam, pkder + fam, pkteh + fam & Ucu + fam..next trip ehhh. really looking 4wrd !!!!
January 15 at 12:36am
Alwee A. Ghani
masa nih dia org smo x nyempat2 nk turun nk pijak bumi Bdg. Ktorg relax jerr...well U know me cool as cucumber kan kan kan
January 15 at 2:27pm ·
Despite his busy schedule, he never neglected his family
Alwee A. Ghani
jez love de views...
December 2, 2009 at 11:34am
Elina Ariffin:
yeap..remember sadiq and me snap pic membelakang this view...heheheeh
December 2, 2009 at 12:37pm
Alwee A. Ghani:
huhuhu amek gmba x pe jgn terjun udah lerr..level 29 tuh ateh bukit lg..x sempat nk mngucaps ooooo..kan Mya
December 2, 2009 at 10:17pm ·