My Dear Boss who is also my Mentor

I remember it was January 2005, I came into this office to be interviewed by the owner of the company and also with another person who is the FOUNDER of the company I work with. Firstly I was greeted by these 2 bosses with smiles on their faces. I remember at that time, my ex boss who is my current boss punya insurance agent told me "Elina, this time I really have to let you go because En S@#*% is my big client but then again arrrr...that place bosses will throw files one you know"..and my reaction to that statement was "Arrrrr ok but the salary is ok for a single mom who is struggling bringing up her 2 kids without any financial help from her ex husband nor anyone". And so I took the challenge.
Didn't know if at that time I made the right decision because seriously at that time, I was "IT ZERO KNOWLEDGE". I mean if its just emailing and YM-ing,its ok but more than that...GOSH!OK back to the interview part,my big boss was joking and smiling while asking me questions and i felt so ease but then, suddenly his phone rang and he excused himself and left me and the other boss (the founder of the company). With his eyes looking straight into my eyes, his smiles just died, he asked me "So tell me, what do you know about this company? do you know how to do presentation slides? Know how to do proposals?" and I said " Im a fast learner and I can learn."
Deep in my heart, I said " Oh No..my life is gonna be hell here". Well first 6 months, he really drilled me. Whatever I did was just not right to him. At first I really hate him but then, I said why hate him and be miserable. Why not learn from the mistakes and probably I can be like him. Oh I forgot to mention..he is a very simple man but he is a GENIUS and a bumi genius.
Day by day I learn, and tried to cope with him and do things at his pace. It was tough and then I realised that he started having trust with my work. I began to respect him day by day and I told myself, what he taught me is something I can never learn anyway. Keeping with the new technologies thats growing too fast.
And now, I think I'm not so bad with my IT KNOWLEDGE and I love my job and sort of addicted to my job. Lucky I dont have a husband or a boyfriend coz with the way I work now, no man is crazy enough to date me. I go home at 8pm to have dinner with my dad n my 2 kids and after putting the kids to bed at 10.30pm, i would run to the office to do my work till 4-5am. I would go home and come back again at 8.30am. heheheh.
And till today I'm still learning and I'm proud to say, TO MY BOSS IF U EVER READ THIS BLOG ONE DAY, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY " EN AZLI, I WOULD LIKE TO SAY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART THANK YOU FOR ALL THE THINGS YOU HAVE TAUGHT ME AND STILL TEACHING ME. I LOVE N RESPECT YOU AS MY BOSS AND MY MENTOR...THANK U

Where is the justice

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and he has put love and mercy between your (hearts)..." Qu'ran 30:21
"I recommend that you treat women with goodness. The best of you are those who treat their wives the best." Prophet Muhammed (peace be upon him)
Although Islam promises women protection from such problems, the reality in many Muslim homes is different.The most common form of abuse is emotional and mental abuse.degradation, humiliation, insults, ridicule, name-calling, and criticism; false accusations and blaming her for everything; ignoring, dismissing, or ridiculing her needs; neglect and the silent treatment; spying on her; telling her she is a failure and will go to hell; twisting Islamic teachings to make her feel worthless because she is a woman; restricting her access to transportation, health care, food, clothing, money, friends, or social services; physical and social isolation; extreme jealousy and possessiveness; lying, breaking promises, destroying trust; etc. Emotional abuse can take place in public or at home.
Although it's completely contrary to the example of Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, the Muslim community nonetheless tends to dismiss the seriousness of mental abuse, rationalizing it as a petty argument between husband and wife, and saying it's not serious unless he hits her. In reality, mental abuse does severe psychological harm to many Muslim women. It destroys their self-esteem and makes them question their self-worth; some have mental breakdowns and go insane.
Tragically, some Muslim men actually use Islam to "justify" their abusive behavior. Focusing on rituals, considering themselves to be Islamically knowledgeable, and disregarding the spirit of Islam, they wrongly use the Qur'anic verse that says men are the protectors and maintainers of women to go on power trips, demand total obedience, and order their wives around. They disregard the Islamic requirement for the head of the household to consult with other members of the family when making decisions.
Its been 4 years since my ex husband and i are no longer together. Today we are supposed to go to court and he is supposed to give me my complete freedom and its been 2 years I have been going in and out of syariah court to fight for my freedom but to no avail. Sometimes i wonder, do i need to stand in front of the Judge and tell him that i will change my religion(though in my heart, I'm a strong believer of Allah and the religion) in order for me to get my freedom?
In total, 10 years I have been mental tortured and abused..and the worst part is I'm fighting on my own. All alone. I have no more strength to fight at times but I kept fighting as I have always been a fighter.
I have been begging his mom and what did I get..humiliation! I have begged the people in the religious Department and what did i get..nothing.
Oh Allah, You have never broken Your promise. Today for the first time in my life, I put up my 2 hands and beg You oh Allah, I curse Ahmad Rizal Abd Aziz the son of Faridah Bujang and Abdul Aziz...the day he was born till the day he dies..show him Your wrath. Burn him in Your Hell fire.

Love and Sorrow

Here the swallow's the other half (wife) is injured and the condition is fatal. She was hit by a car as she swooped low across the road

He brought her food and attended to her with love and compassion

He brought her food again but was shocked to find her dead.
He tried to move her......a rarely-seen effort for swallows!

Aware that his sweetheart is dead and will never be with him again, sadness filled his eyes and sorrow felt in his spirit

He stood beside her as his heart weeps for his only love .

Finally aware that she would never return to him, he
stood beside her body with untold pain and despair.

Millions of people cried after watching this picture in
America and Europe and even in India . It is said that the
photographer sold these pictures for a nominal fee to the
most famous newspaper in France .All copies of that
newspaper were sold out on the day these pictures were published.
And many people think animals don't have a brain or feelings?

Give 100%....SINCERELY

A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.
The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.
Moral of the story: If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent.. This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship,friendship etc., Give your hundred percent to everything you do and sleep peacefully

I'm having FRENEMY in my life....

Now we're still pursuing our careers at that age, and men are less reliable in the marriage stakes and want to commit later, so girlfriends take on a whole new meaning.And yet we've got sloppy at female friendship.These days nothing is quite the same,you've got yourself 1,214 friends on Facebook, five of whom you've actually met in person.
With the click of a mouse, you can befriend and break up, hook up and make up, all without having to leave the warm glow of your computer screen and do something unthinkable like interact with a real, live human being.'
So the point is how to reconnect with real friendship, not cyber-fakes, and to differentiate between the true girlfriend and the frenemy who half wants you to succeed but mostly loves it when you fail - at men, fashion or career.
She's the kind of woman who, while affecting deep concern, is the mistress of undermining. She is fond of saying things along the lines of: 'You look tired,' 'You're going to eat all that?' 'Your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend is soooooo pretty.' Good friends are like orgasms - you're lucky enough to have one and really lucky if you have multiple ones.' We need girlfriends for life and often for dear life.women who hate instead of embracing one another. It is a phenomenon that every working woman will recognise. Women can be fantastic friends outside the office, but put them in the workplace and they become the personification of conceit, deceit and downright nastiness.
Without even realising it, women slip into Player HateHer mode. And I defy anyone reading this to say they have not been guilty of this kind of scrutiny of other women. A Player HateHer is a woman who 'unnecessarily displays a negative attitude towards another woman for trivial reasons'. Why? Because they're jealous, insecure and intimidated.
First, don't get over-emotional. If you feel jealous, cool down and ask yourself why you feel this way, and if you could be the one at fault.
Best of Friends? The girls from the hit U.S. sitcom stuck together, despite the occasional cat-fight

Best of Friends? The girls from the hit U.S. sitcom stuck together, despite the occasional cat-fight

Secondly, respect works. Nothing is likely to lose other people's respect more than being disrespectful either to a senior or junior in the workplace.

Thirdly, don't be a bitch. Spiteful emotional explosions end up hurting no one but yourself.

Fourthly, try to consider other people's feelings and think about how much you've hurt them, instead of how much they've hurt you.

Sure it's not rocket science, but if it were all that obvious, why would we have so many Player HateHers in our midst?

Likewise, the authors of Friend Or Frenemy? have some sound advice for how to hold on to true friendships.

The Friend Commandments are:

1. Thou shalt not covet they friend's life.

2. Thou shalt not covet thy friend's

boyfriend, even if you think he's way too hot for her.

3. Thou shalt give more than thou taketh away from a friendship.

4. Thou shalt never call thy friend and say: 'My boyfriend's away for the weekend. Wanna hang out?' Put your girlfriends first now and again.

5. Thou shalt not spread malicious gossip about a friend unless thou wants to be run over by the karma bus.

6. Thou shalt say: 'Those jeans make your butt look really good.' That's your story and you're sticking to it.

7. Friends don't make their friends wear seafoam green taffeta bridesmaid dresses. Just be happy for one another for one day. It will probably end in divorce anyway.

8. Thou shalt compromise. And compromise. And compromise.

9. Thou shalt not lose touch.

10. Thou shalt not let thy friend leave the house wearing Crocs, unless said friend is working in a hospital.

Finally....the day finally came

A month ago I told him I have to end the relationship. It hurt both of us soo much with the decision I made.He was and is still hurt and so am I but the decision has to be made. 2 days ago he came to KL, a day before he left for Acheh. Damn I miss him so much.
Yesterday after my appointment at Putrajaya, I picked him at his hotel and sent him to the airport. Just as i was about to reached the KLIA toll, my tears suddenly drooled down my cheek. He kept telling me to be patient and he kept wiping my tears with his finger.
God, I never questioned things that happened in my life, but this time I just need an answer for this test. Just want to know what are the things behind this test. He is the first guy I fell in love with. Never have i felt this way with other guys I dated before. Why did You put this feeling in my heart when You know we can never be together. Just wish I have this answer to my question.
I pretend to be happy with my decision but actually it hurt so bad. Please take this pain away. I can't help myself but missing him so much. Please take away this feeling of love and the feeling that hurt me so much. I dedicate this whole list of song to him. He will be my memory that will remain in me forever.
I've decided not to have anymore relationship in my life. There are times i feel like I am cursed when it comes to relationship. He is the first guy that allows me to be ME...ELINA ARIFFIN. Who accepts me just the way I am. Who loves me for just ME. Not wanting me to change a single bit.
Keindahanmu tak pernah dapat terlukiskan
Kecantikanmu menghancurkan hati
Ketulusanmu mengalir sebening kasihmu
Setiamu menguatkan aku
Kau begitu berarti
Sungguh sangat berarti
Kesempurnaan cinta
Kau beri
Aku menyayangimu
Dalam senyum dan tangisku
Dan aku mencintaimu
Dalam hidup dan matiku
Kau begitu berarti
Sungguh sangat berarti
Kesempurnaan cinta
Kau beri
Aku menyayangimu
Dalam senyum dan tangisku
Dan aku mencintaimu
Dalam hidup dan matiku
Aku menyayangimu
Dalam senyum dan tangisku
Dan aku mencintaimu
Dalam hidup dan matiku
Aku menyayangimu
Dalam senyum dan tangisku
Dan aku mencintaimu
Dalam hidup dan matiku
Dalam hidup dan matiku

my indo songs

Law Of Attraction..

The reality that our thoughts and feelings create our experiences, and that we attract to ourselves what we focus our attention on—has been known to sages for thousands of years, but is just now gaining mass popularity due to “The Secret”, Oprah, and other mass media outlets. Because of this, you can now use the law of attraction to relieve stress, and to attract the life you want. (I’ve used it in my practice and in my personal life, and it works!) The following steps can lead you to the life of your dreams, via the law of attraction.
Make a list of all the things in your life that have you feeling frustrated, or that you’d like to change. This can include a stressful job, your children’s behavior, or conflict in your relationships, for example.
List The Positives. Next, begin a journal. For each situation on your list, find everything you can think of that’s positive in the situation. For example, a difficult job may also bring the benefits of income, creative challenge, or personal growth; the job can be a vehicle for expanding your level of patience, for example. (At the very least, it could bring you the valuable information that this isn’t what you want to be doing with your life!)
Maintain a Positive Attitude. This doesn't just mean to paste a smile on your face; it means to work at feeling grateful for what you already have, and for what you believe will come. That's right: shift your focus from your feelings of lack, and toward feelings of gratitude and abundance. Believe in yourself, in your future, and in God or the Universe, and know that you can make whatever changes in your life you want.
Visualize A Better Life. Building and maintaining a visual image of what you want in your life (instead of focusing on what you don’t want) can be a powerful way to attract positive change and opportunity. Make a detailed list of what you’d like in your life. Sit down daily and visualize what your new life would look like and how it would feel to have these changes.
Think, Feel, Act. Be sure that your thoughts, feelings, and behavior all focus on your goals, rather than your frustrations with your situation, or any negative feelings you may have. Keep your self-talk positive and optimistic; engage in visualizations each day that reflect the life you want; work on your plan of action. If you do this, you should find you make quick strides toward the life you want.
Accept What Is. Rather than spending every day focused on what you don’t like about your life and wishing things were different, try to come to terms with the bad as well as the good. This doesn’t mean that you don’t make positive changes in your life; it just means you don’t focus on your frustrations everyday. You make peace with what is, while making progress toward what you’d like to have.

A Moment Like This - Leona

Specially dedicated to the coolest friends of mine..The Nyehs & Father Ciken

Friendships are the gift to the man kind. The relation which we get in this world are blood related. But the only relationships which doesnot related to blood is friendship. Friendship has many forms and shapes. It is like water. If we pour the water into a jug it takes the shape of jug. if you pour the same water into a bowl it takes the shape o bowl. Sameway friendships will take a different shapes and sizes according to our heart. Friendship gives pleasure to human beings. Where there is friendship then there will not be any sorrow. When you see a child laughing you will forget your sorrows for a second, sameway when you are with a friend you forget your sorrows.

The world is rotating smoothly because of the friendly hearts in the world. it crosses boundries and share a mutual bonding of love. Friendships will take care of this entire world from problems. If we are friends then our countries will, when our countries are friends then there is not need of weapons. So take weapon named friendship and love and conqure the world with love.

Friend - Mocca

I thank Allah for the life You chose for me

In life we have a choice. Give me a reason and not a choice for i might repeat the mistakes.LOL! Last weekend, my very own best friend throw a remark just as she saw my face. She said,"I saw the pic of u and your sis drinking the watermelon juice...do you know that your sister look so much beautiful than you..and she went on and on". I have a choice either to feel sore about it or to just brush it aside. So I said to her.."Yes I know..and that's why everyone always asked me why can't I be like my sister..and I just want people to know that I can't and I won't because I am one and there can never be a duplication of me and so is my sister".
Hehehehe and I'm proud being me ELINA ARIFFIN born on Sunday morning on the 30th March 1970 just before dawn.Paul always tell me that I should feel good about myself. 2009 is gonna be a better year for me because Allah has sent me a friend, Paul who always make me realised how special I am.LOL! now I sound a lil bit vain huh?
Just before the new year, I sat and and had a long thought about the life I have. Even though I have gone through so much and still going through a hard life..but I kinda like it and I know Allah has chosen the best life just for ELINA ARIFFIN and that I am so bless.
I mean what more do I need? I have my 2 precious kids, I have my wonderful funny and crazy family, I have my crazy pantry friends at work(they are simply the best..ooppsss they deserve to have their names mention here: Zuriani, Sherry Mambo, Azlan Bapak Ayam, PakTeh,Rosli, Kak Neng Mami,Sammy Boy and a few more)



I have a career, a nice boss whom I report directly to(oh he too deserves to have his name mentioned here..the credit goes to my lovely boss En Azli Paat the bumiputera genius), I have a comfortable shelter for me, my dad and my 2 kids to stay happily and also another group of good friends that I hang out with most of my time.
Yes I have no boyfriend now and I do at times(which is rare la!) wish I have someone to call my own but I guess I never have luck with relationship so why do I need to worry over something which is not really gonna bring me happiness. And now that I'm on my own, I get to be me ELINA ARIFFIN. So for all the above mentioned..I truly thank Allah for giving me the life I have and I truly love you my Creator, My Best Friend of the Universe, my Provider and my Guardian. Allahu Akhbar!

The Light Og Guidance

I was coming back from a long journey, and Allaah decreed that my seat in the airplane should be beside a group of carefree young men whose loud laughter and voices were too much, and the air was filled with clouds of smoke from their cigarettes. By the wisdom of Allaah, the plane was completely full and I could not change my seat.
I tried to escape from the problem by sleeping, but it was impossible… When I got fed up of their noise, I took out my Mus-haf (copy of the Qur’aan), and started to read what I could of the Qur’aan in a soft voice. Soon after that these young men started to quieten down. Some of them started to read newspapers, and some of them fell asleep.
Suddenly one of them said in a loud voice, even though he was sitting right next to me, “Enough! Enough!”
I thought that I had disturbed him because my voice was too loud, so I apologized to him and carried on reading in a whisper that only I could hear. I saw him holding his head in his hands, then fidgeting in his seat, moving a lot. Then he raised his head and said to me angrily, “Please, stop it, I can’t stand it!!”
Then he got up from his seat and went away for a while, then he came back, greeted me with salaams, and apologized. He fell silent, and I did not know what was going on. But after a while he turned to me with his eyes full of tears and said to me in a whisper, "For three years or more I have not put my forehead on the ground, and I have not read even one aayah!
For a whole month I have been on this trip, and there is no evil action that I did not indulge in. Then I saw you reading Qur’aan, and my world turned black and my heart was filled with despair. I felt as if someone was strangling me… I felt every aayah that you read coming down on my body like a whip.
I said to myself, for how long will this negligence go on? Where will this path lead you? What will happen after all this foolish play? Then I went to the washroom, do you know why?
I had the strong urge to weep, and I could not find anywhere else to hide from the people’s sight!”
I spoke to him in general terms about tawbah (repentance) and turning back to Allaah, then he fell silent.
When the plane landed, he stopped me, and it seemed that he wanted to keep away from his companions. He asked me, with a serious expression on his face, “Do you think that Allaah will accept my repentance?” I said, “If you are sincere and serious in your repentance, then Allaah will forgive all your sins.”
He said, “But I have done terrible things, very terrible.”
I said, “Have you not heard what Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
‘Say: O ‘Ibaadi (My slaves) who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily, Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful’ [al-Zumar 39:53]?”
I saw him smiling with joy, with his eyes filled with tears, then he bade me farewell and left. Subhaan Allaah al-‘Azeem!
No matter how great a man's evil and sin, in his heart there is a seed of goodness. If only we can reach it and make it grow, it will bear fruit, insha'Allaah.
This seed of goodness is always fighting in man's heart, even when it is covered by layers of whims and desires. When Allaah wills good for His slave, He causes the light of guidance to shine in his heart and guides him to the path of those who are guided. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“And whomsoever Allaah wills to guide, He opens his breast to Islam; and whomsoever He wills to send astray, He makes his breast closed and constricted, as if he is climbing up to the sky” [al-An’aam 6:125]

Always

Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, work shirt and a hat; and Mom in a house dress, lawn mower in one hand, and dish-towel in the other. It was the time for fixing things: a curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.
It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy. All that re-fixing, re-heating leftovers, renewing; I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.
But when my mother died, and I was standing in that clear morning light in the warmth of the hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more.
Sometimes, what we care about most gets all used up and goes away...never to return. So... While we have it, it's best we love it... And care for it... And fix it when it's broken.... And heal it when it's sick.
This is true: For marriage... And old cars.... And children with bad report cards... Dogs and cats with bad hips... And aging parents... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep, like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that make life important,
like people we know who are special... And so, we keep them close!

Oh Allah! Give me the strength....

THe whole last week of January I was away from work. When I came back to work, the 2 from my department,Yuslan and Amir acted strangely. The moment i sat at my cubicle, Yuslan started asking Amir about fitnah. Saying things like "What happen to people who slander others?" I didn't feel anything at first because I never thought it was meant for me because as far as I'm concerned never have I ever slandered anyone in my whole entire life. But they repeated the same issue the whole day with a loud voice.
The next day again when I sat at my place they both said something that relate to slandering. I told myself as long as my conscious tells me that i have not done it, why should I let this thing bug me.
2 weeks has passed by and everyday I've been listening to their crap. They always feel that they are religious and that I am the ultimate bitch. They have always have this feeling of envy towards me and the other girl. They will try their best to demoralized me but Yuslan forgot that it's been 4 years since I worked here and have always been very independent and never asked for anyone's help.
Oh Allah, You are my guidance and my Light at the end of the darkest night. Give me the strength to go through all the lies and betrayal people have put upon me. For You are the Judge to whatever that happen in this world.
I will leave my life in YOur Hand of Mercy. I believe in You oh Allah and I know You have Your own reasons for these to happen to me. Like what You said:
ALLAH GIVES THE VERY BEST TO THOSE WHO LEAVES THE CHOICE TO HIM.

Once there was a man who asked God for flower and a butterfly.But instead God gave him a cactus and a caterpillar.The man was sad and didn't understand why his request was mistaken.Then he thought...Oh well, God has too many people to care for and decided not to question.After sometime, the man went to check up on his request that he had left forgotten.To his surprise, from a thorny and ugly cactus,a beautiful flower has grown.And the unsightly caterpillar has transformed into the most beautiful butterfly.
God always does things RIGHT!. His ways is always the BEST way, even to us seems all wrong. If you asked God one thing and received another..TRUST. YOu can be sure that He will always give you what you need at a appropriate time.What you want is not what you always need.God never fails to grant our petitions. So keep on going for Him without doubting and murmuring.
TODAY'S THORN IS TOMORROW'S FLOWER. GOD GIVES THE BEST TO THOSE WHO LEAVES THE CHOICES UP TO HIM.
perasaan ini apa namanya
ku takut untuk menyebut apa namanya

bukan karena ku takut salah
tetapi ku takut benar apa yang kurasa

pedih yang menghujam di sanubariku
hancurkan keyakinan yang menjadi kekuatanku

aku jatuh lagi sekali lagi jatuh
untuk sekian kali namun kali ini ku galau

bukan karena ku takut salah
tetapi ku takut benar apa yang kurasa

aku jatuh lagi sekali lagi jatuh
untuk sekian kali namun kali ini ku galau

pedih yang menghujam di sanubariku
hancurkan keyakinan yang menjadi kekuatanku

aku jatuh lagi sekali lagi jatuh
untuk sekian kali namun kali ini aku galau

galau…

Galau - Titi Dj

LIfe is too short, Make a Memory

In today's paper, you will find the story of the Frechette-Fletcher family. Two beautiful children suffering from a terminal illness, and the lengths their parents and family go to to make the time they have joyful and happy.
It's funny how easily we forget to be grateful for those closest to us.
It puts a lot of things in perspective.

The ridiculous arguments that can escalate to outrageous proportions -- beds that go unmade, wet towels left on the floor, who forgot to put the garbage out -- all seem hardly worth the energy.
Although it looks great as a calendar quote, it really isn't easy to live each day as though it were the last. To remember to be thankful for what we have while we can.
I hate the idea that we can only truly appreciate something, or someone, until they're gone.
It is so easy to take loved ones for granted, particularly when they are here.
And what a shame to appreciate someone only when it's too late.

I can't imagine a price I wouldn't pay to spend a few more minutes with my mother, who died in 1996.In the real world, I'm not going to stop being upset about the unmade beds or wet towels on the floor, and arguments about homework or thank you notes will be back quickly.But sometimes it's good to be reminded to take a deep breath and remember, not only those in our memories, but those we're making memories about today.

My Best Buddies...What will I do without Them