I don't know why and i really wish i know why, people just love to have issues with me. Even those I'm not close with. The latest one is with someone who I treated him like my very own brother. The love I have is merely a love of a sister to a brother. Last Thursday, I had to send a sponsored prize to RTM. My leg wasn't feeling ok for me to drive that day, so that morning when I reached the office, I asked PD if he is going to RTM and if I could come along.
Fortunately PD said yes he is going around 10am. I was happy that I don't have to drive. At 10am, PD asked me to hang on as he had to finish some work. I was ok about it as long as I don't have to drive myself to RTM,but then Kak Nraini from RTM called and requested that the prize to be sent before 12pm. So I went downstairs to look for PD and asked him if we could go early. He told me that we would go at 11am.
At 10.55 off we went to RTM, delivered the prize and from RTM PD had to send some document at PKNS PJ. I waited in the car while he sent the document. 5 minutes later, he came back, got into the car. The moment he closed the car,he said "Ellie, i have to tell you something but please do not get angry with me". I was like.."emmm..ok! What is the breaknews that could upset me?". Then he started his confession while driving back to the office. The confession that made me dropped my jaw to the ground all the way back to the office. He started telling me about his conversation with my best friend Syerry a day before. He told me they were talking about marriage when sherry asked him what is his feelings towards me.
Seriously at that time, the things that were running in my brain was "Im gonna skin syerry alive" and suddenly my mind went blank. U know the type where u just in your own world and i could see PD's mouth moving still expressing his feelings and at that time, I just went into my NUMB WORLD..a world where i normally hide when unwanted situation came up.
Reached the office just in time for lunch. Both of us stepped out of the car silent. He open the door and bumped into zue and azlan. I was still in my NUMB WORLD when i bumped into zue and the question came out from my mouth was a stupid one. Knowing it was already 1pm, i asked zue and azlan where were they going and zue snapped me from my comfortably NUMB WORLD.
The next thing I asked her was.."Where is sherry..i wanna skin her alive" and zue said she is not coming for lunch and told sherry was also in a bad mood at that moment so they dragged me into the car and we went for lunch. In the car I told azlan and zue what had happened. The remark that PD made that really upset me was " I have feelings for you..the feeling of love but at the moment I am sorry i can't accept you yet as our thinking are ddifferent". WTF????.....
I am so glad that he couldnt accept me because I DO NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR HIM..for God sake. But through out the journey he kept apologizing because he couldn't accept me..I was like EXCUSE ME...u made it sound as if i was crazy head over heels over u..For the sake of God, goodness me.
LAter after lunch I told Sherry about it. She bllew up too..Oh dear, everything blew up.LOL!And now the relationship between me and PD has ruined. I will still accept him as my friend but it can never be like before.
Life might be lonely for me at times, but I rather be on my own than having a man in my life. Don't need additional problems in life. I'm happy the way I am right now. I don't have to answer anything to a man call "Boyfriend", "husband", "lover"etc....And Im lovind the life i am having now
