BEAUTIFUL MESS

I LOVE this song. I can't stop listening to it.

It reminds of this relationship I'm in... Been going on for what seems like forever and now in a happy place with the person. After all the crap you've been through, it's finally working out. In limbo... enjoying the moment, but can't wait to move forward. Kind of like: All that shit was and will be worth it. And that you're FINALLY getting there. Sort of like reassuring the other person.

It's also about the people involved...


You�ve got the best of both worlds
You�re the kind of girl who can take down a man then lift him back up again
You are strong but you�re needed, humble but you�re greeted
And based on your body language and shotty cursive I�ve been reading
You�re style is quite selective though your mind is rather reckless
Well I guess it just suggests that this is just what happiness is

And what a beautiful mess this is
It�s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you write
Kind of turn themselves into knives
And don�t mind my nerve you can call it fiction
But I like being submerged in your contradictions dear
Cause here we are, here we are

Although you were biased I love your advice
Your comebacks they�re quick and probably have to do with your insecurities
There�s no shame in being crazy, depending on how you take these words
I�m paraphrasing this relationship we�re staging

But it�s a beautiful mess, yes it is
It�s like picking up trash in dresses

Well it kind of hurts when the kind of words you say
Kind of turn themselves into blames
And the kind and courteous is a life I�ve heard
But it�s nice to say that we played in the dirt
Cause here, here we are
Here we are

We're still here

And it�s a beautiful mess, yes it is
It�s like taking a guess when the only answer is yes

And through timeless words and priceless pictures
We�ll fly like birds not of this earth
And tides they turn and hearts disfigure
But that�s no concern when we�re wounded together
And we tore our dresses and stained our shirts
But its nice today, oh the wait was so worth it

Life is Amazing will be more amazing for 2011

So...i was watching TV ad a lot of shows have a "what happened before" kind of recap

so.........

Turned 40 this year and pretty much had the worse time since then, got very sick in May then an amazing holiday and then relationship went sour, maid(s) ran away, kids got sick and didn't meet my target with my insurance career....ended up hating myself a lot and insanely confused, lost and depressed

BUT

then a friend came to my rescue YAY and now there are so many good new things in my life, i have a future....and plans and a smile again

I have cried, self harmed, got so wrecked i couldn't remember my name and seriously considered giving up on life ......but a new start while hard at first ALWAYS means new things and sure we may have liked the old things BUT they are gone.

And still have so much ahead of me , so many new things and so many new plans

And yeah i am crying as i write this but its ok because some part of me will always be sad that things didn't work out , but now i have a new life to be getting on with.

So a crazy, sad, depressed start to my 40th year of my life........but i am turning that around ^_^ and i know i there is a long hard road ahead of me, but i also know that this is one of the most pivotal and important years of my life.

The decisions i make now will be the basis of an amazing and beautiful life

And by the time i am 41 my life is going to be amazing.

So this is to everyone out there who has lost someone, or been fired or is just in a bad place right now, i know its scary and daunting and everywhere you look you just see problems you have not got the strength to handle right now. It will get better and you will find yourself and a life again.

And if you need someone , most of you know my mobile number and to those who do not know me but need someone to talk, can add me at YM ellieariffin@yahoo.com