Yesterday i went for my check up and guess what? I got my cancer back. Just didn't know what to say but at that moment my mind just felt like giving up. Its like Chipsmores cookies.."now u see now u don't". Was feeling a lil bit down...text my sister, my husband to be and also my friend Sheila (who is also battling with cancer). In my SMS was "Lol!...my cancer is back". My sister called and said "LOL??"...and with a shivering voice i replied her..emhem..no point crying though my voice was cracking at that moment.
She was kinda upset when I told her I gave up on the treatment. Really got piece of her mind that moment. Only when people are in our shoes they would know why we sometimes feel so motivated to go on with our life and the next minute, we feel shitty and give up.
At 7pm, met my former boss for Chinese New Year Dinner and the celebration of International Woman's Day with MMCP. Before the dinner start, my former boss who is the President of MMCP gave a speech then followed by the Miss Ranjit Kaur who is the President of Breast Cancer Welfare Association and also Member of Board of Directors - International Union Against Cancer.
She had cancer and survived. She is now cancer free for more than 20 years and her friend that came along was also cancer survivor and is now cancer free for more than 11 years. When I said God talks to me, some find me crazy but this is what I meant when God talks to us. God heard me saying "I gave up...and just want to live life to the fullest." During her speech my former boss Azli, look at me with that look that said, "See, you too gonna be alright". After her speech, i got up and had a lil chat with her and she told me it's normal for us to feel like giving up once in a while but she said i need to go on with the treatment and keep on fighting.
At this moment I am fasting for 120days straight with no break in between except the days i have my period. I have completed 30days already. Another 90 days to go. Its my way of asking God to 1. forgive me for all the wrong doings during my 40 years of my life 2. To cure my cancer completely 3. To heal the heart of a group of people and lastly 4. To heal the heart of this particular person. So 30days x 4 wishes = 120days. And somehow, God made my fasting easy despite fasting during the none fasting month where there are loads of temptation. But the best part is that, since fasting, i have been taking care of the words that i said, the things that i do so help me God.
She was kinda upset when I told her I gave up on the treatment. Really got piece of her mind that moment. Only when people are in our shoes they would know why we sometimes feel so motivated to go on with our life and the next minute, we feel shitty and give up.
At 7pm, met my former boss for Chinese New Year Dinner and the celebration of International Woman's Day with MMCP. Before the dinner start, my former boss who is the President of MMCP gave a speech then followed by the Miss Ranjit Kaur who is the President of Breast Cancer Welfare Association and also Member of Board of Directors - International Union Against Cancer.
She had cancer and survived. She is now cancer free for more than 20 years and her friend that came along was also cancer survivor and is now cancer free for more than 11 years. When I said God talks to me, some find me crazy but this is what I meant when God talks to us. God heard me saying "I gave up...and just want to live life to the fullest." During her speech my former boss Azli, look at me with that look that said, "See, you too gonna be alright". After her speech, i got up and had a lil chat with her and she told me it's normal for us to feel like giving up once in a while but she said i need to go on with the treatment and keep on fighting.
At this moment I am fasting for 120days straight with no break in between except the days i have my period. I have completed 30days already. Another 90 days to go. Its my way of asking God to 1. forgive me for all the wrong doings during my 40 years of my life 2. To cure my cancer completely 3. To heal the heart of a group of people and lastly 4. To heal the heart of this particular person. So 30days x 4 wishes = 120days. And somehow, God made my fasting easy despite fasting during the none fasting month where there are loads of temptation. But the best part is that, since fasting, i have been taking care of the words that i said, the things that i do so help me God.
