Maybe it's my hormonal imbalance again that I am feeling like this. I just want to say that I am no longer strong like before.I used to live a hectic life. I was so workaholic and if I am not at work, I was attending to people and their problems. Now I have lost all those strength. Maybe this is God's way of wanting me to slow down in life and pull my horses. Maybe it's his way of telling me to pass the world's problem to Him for I am only His small little weak servant.
Sometimes it get so hard to be strong all the time, sometime I just want to stop worrying about being the stronger person, and just let my weak side show a bit. But most of the time, I just show that i am strong, no matter how I am feeling on the inside. It just gets tiring sometimes. Always having to be strong can be really hard, and really frustrating sometimes. Sometimes I just can't handle it, and want an escape from it all!
Don't get me wrong, I AM a strong person, I know this. And I DON'T mind being the strong one, no I LOVE being the strong one for ppl. But sometimes I feel like "I" need that moment of weakness. To cry on someones shoulder and ask for help. But its a hard thing to ask for when I have NEVER been able to do that before. I want to be strong for everyone else, but I also want to have those moments................
Being strong is something I've always been forced to be, whether I wanted to or not. My teenage life was difficult, and I felt like a lot of times I had to "suck things up," act like the eldest, or deal with everyone else's problems. I had no choice but to be strong. Sometimes though, I wish I had the chance to just crumble down like everyone else does, but I feel this urge that I just can't let that happen, that I have to stay strong and protect everyone, and then I tend to forget about myself. Strength is a great thing but after awhile it's so sickening. I can't always be everyone's rock when I can barely be my own.
