Dear Paul, I want to say you are my very special friend and it take a very special person to be as good friend as you.You let me be myself even if that means putting up with my moods,habits and silly quirks.You're there for me if I need to share my problems, if I want to share a laugh and you can sense when i need to be alone. We agree on so many things and even when we don't, you always make an effort to see my side. Thanks for being that special person you are......I feel lucky to have a good friend like you. So to Paul, u deserve a special place in my heart. And someday I know we will definitely meet in person. Luv you always Paul.
I love how people abuse the word friendship. Since I was in high school, the word meant anyone who you talked to and/or had your phone number. In other words, your clique. Friendship is more than just mere acquaintance and casual phone conversations. What I eventually found out is that is just talk. That's just what it is. By the time I reached contact. I lost contact with all those people. Most of would only have you back long enough to get what they needed and being that I was smart a lot of times that was the case with me. It got to the point where I didn't want to socialize, date, or hangout. I learned to figuratively hate every one I came in contact with. Meaning that in order even be considered an acquaintance you had to gain my trust (I'm still this way today). It's not that I consider everyone to be suspect, it's that I consider and value myself as a human being. There may actually be some nice people I pass up because we may not mesh. Yes, compatibility in friendship I said it. This doesn't mean that you like, admire, and adore the same. Wouldn't that be nice, but it's more you being the ying to his or her yang. At this age, I have met friends that are very close to me and that I considered them as my bestfriend and I truly love them like my very own brothers and my sisters. They have been there for me in times of trouble. Its not the financial support that I was seeking but the moral support they always endured when needed them.That was more than what money can buy. These are the friends that I considered and love like my very own brothers and sisters.
Have you ever had a crush on someone you know you could never be with? Someone with a girlfriend or boyfriend? Someone who is moving a thousand miles away? Someone who lives a thousand miles away? Someone who is straight? This is the story of my life, I always fall for the wrong person, someone I could never be with. And I hated it. It has lead me into my sad and pathetic life of only having one boyfriend, at the age of 12, which doesn’t count for much. I don’t know what this all means, am I repulsive? Do I have a funny smell? Or am I always just at the wrong place at the wrong time? I’m not too sure. Maybe one day I will figure this, and other things out. Having him as a crush is super amazing. It’s turned me into a happier person, and yet a sad person, knowing that I could never have him, and the fact that he doesn’t even know I like him. Maybe one day I will tell him, but it won’t matter anyways, there’s nothing to be done. For now, all I can do is welcome these feelings for him, until eventually they pass. For now, he is my imaginary lover.He always makes me feel better, whenever I talk to him, I feel happy, my heart pounds faster, and I smile sillily to myself. i wish, that it would be possible that he could like me too, but i don't ever see it happening,i wish life had a fairytale ending hahaha... but it never works out that way for me, believe me, it hasn't yet, and for some time i don't think it will lol...but I'm still going to tell him one day hahaha... just because i want him to know... i dunno why, but i do. I created a fantasy guy/boyfriend for myself but it went way beyond just using him as a filler for when my heart was broken. After a while I really started to think that I loved this person and that he might actually exist somewhere in the world and that we were communicating through telekinesis or something (hahaha, it is really stupid that I think on it)I actually think about him though, on a daily basis actually. It's as if he's become a permanent part of my conscious`. But the point is, I got over my obsession, believing he was out there somewhere, and fantasizing about this character did not affect me in an unhealthy way. In fact, he helped me relieve a bunch of stress.
Hmmm...whats' my imaginary boyfriend's name? I dunno cause I simply call him "baby" or "sweetheart". Ahaks ahaks ahaks. Here is the picture of my imaginary boyfriend
Imaginary lovers Never turn you down When all the others turn you away They're around It's my private pleasure Midnight fantasy Someone to share my Wildest dreams with me Imaginary lover you're mine anytime Imaginary lovers, oh yeah
When ordinary lovers Don't feel what you feel And real-life situations lose their thrill Imagination's unreal Imaginary lover, imaginary lover You're mine anytime
Imaginary lovers never disagree They always care They're always there when You need satisfaction guaranteed Imaginary lover, imaginary lover You're mine all the time My imaginary lover You're mine anytime
Sharing life activities and personal information creates intimacy and emotional connection. Over time, caring grows and your emotional investment in the other deepens, even when all is not "rosy" and pleasurable. We love because we find our emotional match in the other person, that which makes us feel more whole. We have found a "soul mate" and gradually become more and more emotionally and spiritually connected to the other person. Mary and John's story is familiar.
"I hate you -- get out of my life!" she said when he finally arrived. She was furious about his coming home two hours late to a cold dinner on the table. The candles had burned out, and she ate alone. This was not the first time he stood her up. You'd think she would learn! (You'd think he would learn!) She loved him so much she was enraged, and told him she wanted a divorce and for him to leave and never come back! Obviously to John, Mary no longer loved him, so he left, hurt and upset, and spent the night elsewhere. Mary was even more hurt from his staying away all night. Of course, she loved him very much. She understood that. But how could she love him and hate him at the same time? She wondered, and he wondered, and with no clear answer they drifted apart. She didn't understand that love is more than a feeling of pleasure. Love is also an emotional investment. Mary's anger meant that John was very important to her. Otherwise she wouldn't care at all. Anger is an inevitable feeling in any relationship . . . but you have to know how to use the energy to turn upsets into opportunities. The truth is, many people are confused about how to have a close relationship that works. . . . . . .and no wonder. . . There are thousands of families out there that model for their kids how not to be loving with their husband or wife. They may want to know the "Secret of loving relationships ". . . but all they can do is the best they learned from their own parents about how to get along with others. . . . Love gives meaning to our lives – as do friendship, or art or faith in God. These are factors of true happiness, of inner peace, of feelings of harmony, allowing meaning to our existence. But there is the other side. There is the cruelty of life, the pain, the evil, not to talk of death. They are the hidden tigers, ambushed and ready to attack the imprudent, to use an image present in the Buddhist Scriptures. Is between these pendulums - the positive, the one that gives happiness and meaning, and the negative - that our lives are lived. And when we meditate about all that, we arrive at a diverse and disagreeing set of thoughts about the meaning and purpose of life. At our mother breast, we tasted not only milk but also love – just enough love to know that it was the only thing that could ever satisfy us and that we will miss it forever. What is the purpose of life? I believe that the purpose of life is to be happy. From the moment of birth, every human being wants happiness and does not want to suffer. From the very core of our being we simply desire contentment.
End of March will my birthday but that is also the day I am gonna lose the guy that for the first time in my life I know the meaning of FALLING IN LOVE.I have never fall in love before until I met him but unfortunately he too will be leaving me soon. Never thought this day will come.At times i feel like relationship is never meant for me. He is leaving for his country soon and this time will be for good.I am trying my best not to feel sad whenever I think about it. But only Allah knows. They said it will take you 10 days for a person to be sad after a relationship ends. I woke up one morning with the realization that he had left me. In a mental sense, having nothing to do with the reality of the situation. He had been the object to which my thoughts inevitably turn...in class, at work, in bed before I manage to fall asleep and as soon as I wake up in the morning. I would think of his kiss, his touch, the things he said that brought me happiness, the things he said that tore me apart. He was a space, an entity, a force like gravity in my mind and heart, and he never even knew he was there to begin with. But I woke up one morning, and he had left. Not gradually, the way that he took up residence within me, but all of a sudden. I went to reach for him, and instead of the memory of soft lips, I feel only a dull ache, like that of an old injury on a damp day. Part of me wants to rebel, fight against this...anything is better than this strange emptiness, even recalling careless words and actions that hurt me more than anything, ever. The memories are still there, if I concentrate I can pull them out, but it's not the same. He is an empty space in a broken heart. And yet this is a good thing. This is what they mean when they say "This too shall pass." This is getting over you.
It all started with a simple bet that was a kissing bet with MAM. All my life, I have never surrendered to a bet and I will always make sure that by hook or by crook I win the bet. Never have I lost any. From the kissing bet, it went to " I can bet u that I can do something that u cannot do" And when I asked MAM what sort of a bet that he can do and I can't? MAM replied me that he can sleep with any of the girls from Facebook, Tagged and Friendster and he bet I can never do that.DAMN it!That's the bet I have always been afraid of. So far, this is the first time I got into this bet. And I told him yes that is one bet should anyone ever bet with me, I will say "I LOST". At that time,deep down in my heart,I told myself that I have to find a way that he doesn't win the bet and I will not lose the bet. I told myself I can't lose a bet. Not this time. So I twisted the bet back to MAM. I told him I bet he was lying and MAM started telling me that he has done it with dozens of girls. Deep in my heart, I was soooo afraid of losing, so I told him that he was definitely lying about him doing this thing that we bet on. Now I'm in deep shit because the girl I'm suppose to introduce to him for him to prove me that he has done and willing to do it again is : 1. She is still in Kota Kinabalu 2. She is a girl who took 2 of my boyfriends in the past. 3. I don't have the heart to go on with this kind of the bet with someone that I'm close with and love. MAM is one of my close buddy and I love all my close buddies.
Now he insisted that i get a date with this girl for him to prove me wrong. I feel shitty now and i mean really shitty. Somehow or rather I have to get Rufina for MAM as he insisted that i get the date for him. I will try my best to arrange for the date and then after that I will just disappear myself. This whole thing is a stupid bet and I will not bet ever again
I've gone through so much. I was raped for 5 years when i was 7 years old till I was 12years old and and life wasn't easy for me until lately, I'm beginning to see things are changing to be on my side now after 38 years... Because of all the things i went through and still standing tall, my best friend Mark always call me The Brave One. After watching the movie I know why he dedicated that name to me "The Brave One" and I kinda like it because by remembering the name given to me by Mark, I will always remember that I can face anything.Thank you Mark and I really love this song from the movie The Brave One called "Answer"
I will be the answer At the end of the line I will be there for you While you take the time In the burning of uncertainty I will be your solid ground I will hold the balance If you can't look down
If it takes my whole life I won't break, I won't bend It will all be worth it Worth it in the end ‘Cause I can only tell you what I know That I need you in my life And when the stars have all gone out You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently Into morning For the night has been unkind Take me to a A place so holy That I can wash this from my mind The memory of choosing not to fight
If it takes my whole life I won't break, I won't bend It will all be worth it Worth it in the end ‘Cause I can only tell you what I know That I need you in my life And when the stars have all burned out You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently Into morning For the night has been unkind
Making someone feel loved can be achieved by the simplest of methods, but they must come at precisely the right time. Tell her you love her. 'OK,' you say to your self, 'that's sounds easy enough.' It is easy, really. But remember to tell her you love her not only while you are being happy together, but when you are being sad together too. Or best of all, when you aren't together, and you have no real reason to be thinking about her. A phonecall or an SMS or an email out of the blue, saying "I just wanted to tell you that I love you" is one of the simplest ways of making someone feel loved. Hold her hand in public. Holding hands can be really important. Not holding hands can make her feel as though you are embarrassed to be seen "with" her, or just as if you don't want to touch her. Be there for her when she needs you. This is the big one for me. Someone who can hold me while I cry, or listen to me when I need to talk about what is hurting me, or just... you know... be there, makes me feel more loved than anything else. Show an interest in her interests. Try reading a book she really likes. You might like it, too. Or ask her what her 'special place' is, and if she asks you, go there with her. Or ask to go along to her club or class some time. Or just listen to her talk about them. But don't pretend to be interested when you are not. Dishonesty sucks. Which brings me to: Tell the Truth. When she can trust you to tell her, when she asks, that you don't like her hair-cut, or you don't like her dress, or you didn't enjoy her book, or that yes, she looks tired, she will know she can trust you to be telling the truth when you tell her that when she smiles it makes your heart ache with happiness. Tell her she's beautiful Robert Heinlein said "Always tell her she's beautiful, especially when she isn't" and I agree, but would be glad if he's said "Tell her she's beautiful to you..." If she knows you see her as beautiful even when she's been digging in the garden, or changing a tyre, or crying her eyes out for an hour (when she knows in her own heart she isn't, in other words) she will feel loved. I've used "she", "her" and "hers" throughout this, but nothing in this would not apply to a man as well as to a woman.
It sucks. You're together, then you're not. Off he goes. He took your heart, threw it against the wall, stomped on it, wore it as a hat, chewed it up like a rabid dog gnawing on a policeman's leg, and spit it out. Then he walks up to you, hands it to you by holding it with his forefinger and thumb as if it were a dead rat, drops what's left of your heart into your palms, and then he walks off with some completely and utterly stupid walking prick who thinks, Oh I see he just did that to her but he won't possibly do it to me cuz with us it's different! Yeah. You keep tellin' yerself that, stupid girl.
The worst lost loves though, are the childhood crushes. The Charlie Brown "little red-haired girl" ones. The loves that were so lost you never had them in the first place. And then inevitably, ten, twenty, maybe forty years later you two run into each other and it's entirely awkward. What if he doesn't remember you? What if you've grown so senile you've forgotten him? Somehow you both get through the coyness and the shyness and learn that back then you both did have a thing for each other and gee why didn't ya ever do anything about it? Neither of you know, really. You think back and come up with excuses, but it doesn't matter. It's too late. Lost opportunity. Lost chances. Lost love.
Well it's not too late, is it? You're both here now. You're two mature adults. So maybe you manage to get a hotel room or do the your place or mine? thing. Then you get it on and the result is almost always anticlimactic, cuz a person can never outperform the fantasy that the other person invented ten, twenty or even forty years ago. It's like Howard the Duck trying to fly faster than Superman.
Or worse, one of you is taken. In the interum of the decades of lost loveness, one of you got tired of waiting, and settled for someone who wasn't as good as the fantasy of the lost lover, but was (and this is important) THERE WHEN IT GOT COLD. So there's now this other person in the picture who wasn't there 20 or 30 years ago and if he got involved, gee whiz this might get complicated. So you begin contemplating all the damned if you do damned if you don't scenarios. And ultimately you realize what I've told you from the beginning: that LOST LOVE REALLY SUCK.
...I wouldn't change a nanosecond though. Nope. Not a breath. Uhm... I mean you shouldn't, IF this ever happens to you... *ahem*
On New Year's Eve, I wanted to be alone.All by myself and pondering on what I have achieve all this while the last emmm..what shall i say? NOT decades..that makes it sound like I'm too old. I'm forever gonna be stuck at 25.Lol! Anyway, I feel 2009 onwards, insya Allah, my life will be a better one. I can feel it actually and all because Allah has bless me with a wonderful moments in my life and i will treasure every moment till the time for me to go home to Him.
If it takes my whole life I won't break, I won't bend It will all be worth it Worth it in the end ‘Cause I can only tell you what I know That I need you in my life And when the stars have all gone out You'll still be burning so bright
Cast me gently Into morning For the night has been unkind Take me to a A place so holy That I can wash this from my mind The memory of choosing not to fight Cast me gently Into morning For the night has been unkind
Yesterday I went to see Nini at her place and I found out she was not well. At first I felt a bit sad because I weren't told about this when the other best friend of ours knew about it. But I told myself..No I'm NOT gonna be sad about this. Probably because I weren't around that much but Asmah was there more then I were for Nini. What's most important is for me to find ways to help her. That's what most important than feeling bad about me not being told about her situation. Deep in my heart I was praying to Allah, please please please take away her sickness. Please don't let her be sick cause she is my best friend. If You, my dear Allah has to give me the pain in order for Nini not too suffer, please pass it to me. I'm ever willing to carry the pain for her. I really want to see that happy face and that joy on her face..just like before. Dear Allah, she is a friend I never had before. I will do anything for her. I'm putting my humble self on my knee, praying to you..please please take away her pain and sickness.
To Nini, I know someday I will not be around anymore. Should something happen to me, I just want you know that I truly love you. I might not be around you as much as Asmah is, but that doesn't mean I care for you less. And when one day the time comes for me to go home To Allah, I just want you to remember me this way. I have a perfect song to dedicate to you and i want you to remember me this way always.
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