Getting Over You

5 MONTHS AGO:

I woke up one morning with the realization that he had left me. In a mental sense, having nothing to do with the reality of the situation. He had been the object to which my thoughts inevitably turn...in class, at work, in bed before I manage to fall asleep and as soon as I wake up in the morning. I would think of his kiss, his touch, the things he said that brought me happiness, the things he said that tore me apart. He was a space, an entity, a force like gravity in my mind and heart, and he never even knew he was there to begin with.
But I woke up one morning, and he had left. Not gradually, the way that he took up residence within me, but all of a sudden. I went to reach for him, and instead of the memory of soft lips, I feel only a dull ache, like that of an old injury on a damp day.
Part of me wants to rebel, fight against this...anything is better than this strange emptiness, even recalling careless words and actions that hurt me more than anything, ever. The memories are still there, if I concentrate I can pull them out, but it's not the same. He is an empty space in a broken heart.
And yet this is a good thing. This is what they mean when they say "This too shall pass." This is getting over you.
5 MONTHS LATER
After almost 5 months since you went back to your country, just when I am about to be healed, you just had to call me from Acheh and told me how much you miss me, and still loving me. Since I got to know that you are actually married, I decided to close my heart not just to you but to anyone. This isn't easy for me but I managed being on my own. I have always been. I came to this world alone, and when the time i go back to my Creator I am still gonna be alone, I guess I will manage being alone on my own.

HAve You Ever Hate SOmeone That You Cant Forgive Them?

Have you ever hated someone that you’ve not spoken to that person for a long long time?
Well, during my school days in primary school, I almost hatred someone just like that, but fortunately I was saved from such a disease. Yes, hating someone is a disease, an emotional disease that can cripple us for life.
While love is easier to manage, hatred is harder to bear as its like a heavy sack one carries on one’s back. The disease if not cured will eat that someone bit by bit until without realising it, it will make the person someone who is bitter and unhappy with the world in general.
Hatred is one of the diseases that our ummah today suffers. Almost every Muslim knows another Muslim whom he hates.
The Ummah is like a building with the Muslims as it’s bricks, brotherhood is the cement. Without forgiveness you cannot have brotherhood.
In life, there will always be people who at times might have wronged you. Deceived or backbited or lied to you. But even in these extreme situations the Qur’an and the Hadith teach us that we have to forgive others (especially those who hurt us the most) if we wish to earn the forgiveness of Allah on the day of judgement.
We have all committed many sins, made many mistakes and no doubt we might also have wronged others, deceived, backbited or lied to others too. No human being is perfect. So what makes us focus onto brothers’ and sisters’ errors while we remain unconscious of our own? Not to forgive is like living in arrogance & ignorance of our own shortcomings.
Forgiveness is linked with piety and God-consciousness, is there anybody who is not without sin? Is there anybody who can be arrogant enough to say that he does not need to forgive? Do we not know that Allah forgives those who forgive others?
Therefore, we should realise the difficulties of others and forgive them.
Allah says in the Qur’an: “Be quick in the forgiveness from your Lord, and pardon (all) men - for Allah loves those who do good.” [Surah ali Imran; 3:133-134]
And we know that Allah Himself is Ar-Rahman (the Most Compassionate) and Ar-Rahim (the Most Merciful) and that His Mercy is infinite, and that no matter the sin (except shirik) Allah is always willing to answer the person’s call for forgiveness.
In fact Allah loves the tear drop that falls from the eye of one who sincerely seeks the forgiveness of his Lord. And Allah loves us to have hearts that are ready to forgive.
The Prophet s.a.w. once asked his companions; “Do you know what will cause you to have high walled palaces in Paradise (as a symbol of great reward) and will cause you to be raised by God?” When they replied in the negative, he said, “To be forgiving and to control yourself in the face of provocation, to give justice to the person who was unfair and unjust to you, to give to someone even though he did not give to you when you were in need and to keep connection with someone who may not have reciprocated your concern.”
Similarly the Prophet s.a.w. said that the best of people are those who are slow to get angry and quick to forgive. On the other hand the worst of people are those, he said who get angry quickly but are slow to forgive. The characteristic that makes a person most likely to forgive is the purity of his or her heart. Apologies must be accepted, the Prophet s.a.w. said that: “Whoever apologises to his brother and that apology is not accepted, then the person who refuses to accept the apology bears the sin of one who takes the property of another unjustly. If we look at the example and the character of the Prophet s.a.w. we can see that he was always forgiving and never showed enmity to anyone except those who waged war against him.
We should similarly be merciful with each other. First of all, we ourselves should not do anything to upset our brothers and sisters (because this is in itself a part of mercy) and then we should forgive those who have upset us or made us angry.
We will never be a strong ummah if we are not able to forgive. Some might say that to forgive is a sign of weakness and humiliation, and for them it is better to be strong and preserve their honor. But honor in the eyes of Allah lies in forgiveness.

When Allah talks to me

Everyone born to this world, shall be tested in many many forms. Some, from the day they were born, they are being tested with wealth and smooth sailing life and some are being tested with, fear,sorrows, losses and sadness through out their life. Testing is necessary and beneficial for the one being tested. He may think he is ready to graduate -- that he knows it all. Testing allows him to see what the real situation is. It confronts him with reality.

155. "And We will surely test you (all) with something of fear and hunger and loss of property, lives and fruits; but give glad tidings to the (steadfast) patient."

156. "Who, when a calamity befalls them, (by showing perseverance), say: 'Verily we belong to Allah, and certainly unto Him shall we return'."

157. "Those are they on whom are blessings and Mercy from their Lord, and they are the ones that are guided (aright)."

(Surah Al-Baqarah 155-157)

Above is my favourite verse that I carry all the time in my heart. There was this one time, my close friends made remarks that made me question God. What they said made me wonder why Allah only tested me with fear,sorrow and losses. Why hasn't He tested me with joy and happiness. Then right after I question Allah "Why", the very next day out of the blues, I read one article as if Allah was talking to me. Then I realised how much He loves me and that He doesn't want me to forget him not a single second. These were few questions i asked Him a day before:

1. WHY AM I BEING TESTED?

The Quran Answered: (Surah Al Ankabut 2-3)

2. Do men think that on their mere saying: We have attained to faith, they will be left to themselve and will not be put to a test?

3. Yeay indeed,We did test those who live before them and so [too, shall be tested those people now living,and] most certainly will God mark out those who prove themselves true, and most certainly will He mark out those who are lying.

Allah (s.w.t.) tests all human beings, but with varieties. All the different sites of the world are the testing-places, and all the members of humanity, even the prophets, are under trial, and all the pleasant and unpleasant things are the means of trial. We ought to know that the Divine examinations are not done in order to clear out the ambiguity, but they are to evoke and train the capacities and abilities of humankind.The means of this trial are all bitter and sweet happenings of Man, including: fear, hunger, loss of property, lives, agricultural products, fear from enemies, economic siege, and taking part in Holy War himself, or by sending children and dear ones to the battle of war. These trials were experienced in the first war of Islam (battle of Badr), and will also come forth at the time of the reappearance of the Expected Mahdi, the twelfth Imam (May Allah hasten his glad advent), for which Muslims should be prepared.

The inflictions, which human beings encounter with, are usually concerned with wealth, life, children, or the fear of the loss of either of them.The secret of mentioning 'fear', among the means of trials, first, may be that the purpose is the fear for the lack of either of those three things. It is always before the loss of the very things that one fears of losing them.

Then, next to fear, hunger is pointed out, which comes into being as a result of poverty. Yet, in this respect, fasting is counted one of the examples of hunger.Loss of property has been situated in the third degree. The loss of wealth, of course, is very bitter, especially for a rich person when he becomes poor. Then there comes the loss of life, which often occurs because of different ailments or after being wounded: in a battle-field and Holy War in the way of Allah, and so on.

Some have rendered this loss into the death of one's child, which is the heaviest calamity.

"...but give glad tidings to the (steadfast) patient

Those when they entangle with a calamity, are patiently steadfast, since they have known that they themselves and what they have are all Allah's and in His possession. They also know that their return is unto Him, and they express this fact, too, by their tongue and with uttering the above holy phrase. Such people have attained the rank and position of nearness to Allah. Their march is gain after gain, i.e. an ever progressive gain. They are, in fact, guided aright.