If Only u know How Much you have hurt me and still hurt me

This song is how i once felt for the man i thought was my soul mate gives me tingles every time i listen to it.........A cry of correct pain, but you can be understood and to accept. Especially if something beautiful is found. It doesn't need to escape, it doesn't serve, it, doesn't help.....
" Sometimes I wish I never met you, So I could say goodbye to all my pain.
We've had a good relationship,Why would you want to turn it around?I sit up at night and always cry,Wondering where you are wishing you were holding me tight.And when you lied to me and I forgave,I trusted and I believed in you.
Then one day, it happened again.How could you hurt me so?I love you so much it hurts Sometimes,Wishing I could go back.Back to the day that we first met,To skip my regret.I'm sorry for all that I've done,but two wrongs don't make a right.
I wish we could start over,to do things right this time.Maybe then I won't wonder all the time,How could you hurt me so?Dear God! Why does it hurt so bad. Why do I have to have this feelings for you when you know from the very beginning you are gonna hurt me? Why did you have to tell me you love and and miss me all the time. You kept on lying to me. Meeting you soon will be my last goodbye to you. Thank you for all the time you gave me.

Once in A Lifetime

This was the song I listened to every time I was going for my flight. Those days, there wasn't anything like I POD or MP3. So every time on the way to the airport I would put on my Walkman (yes the one with the cassette not CD) I would put it on a repeat mode. I would listen to it again and again...
Yesterday while driving, I found an old CD and this song was in that CD. Teringat during those days. I miss those flying days and when mom was around..euuuwww! Gosh i miss it soooo much. So here is the song that really brings back memories..

EVERYDAY REMINDER FOR MYSELF

In all the world there is nobody, nobody like You.
Since the beginning of time there has never been another person like you. Nobody has your smile, your eyes, your hands, your hair. Nobody owns your handwriting, your voice. You're Special. Nobody can paint your brushstrokes. Nobody has your taste for food or music or dance or art. Nobody in the universe sees things as you do.
In all of time there has never been anyone who laughs exactly in your way and what makes you laugh or cry or think, may have a totally different response in another - so - you're Special.
You're different from any other person who has ever lived in the history of the Universe. You are the only one in the whole of creation who has your particular set of abilities. There is always someone who is better at one thing or another - every person will be your superior in one particular way, but no one person anywhere can reach the quality of the combination of your gifts, your talents, your feelings, your thoughts. Like a room full of musical instruments, some might excel in one way or another, but nobody can match the symphonic sound when all are played together - Your Symphony!
Through all eternity no one will ever walk, talk, think or do exactly like you. You're Special! You're rare and in all rarity there is enormous value and because of your great value, the need for you to imitate anyone else is absolutely unnecessary. You're Special and it is no accident that you are.
Please realise that God made you for a special purpose. He has a job for you to do that nobody else can do as well as you can. Out of the billions of applicants, only one is qualified. Only one has the unique and right combination of what it takes and that one is YOU.

The video below, I would like to dedicate it to a special person, who was there when i needed a shoulder to cry on. I hope you know who u are. Thank you for being there for me.
YOU'RE SPECIAL

Secret Admirer Love Letter

Dear Mr @#*&,

I'm writing this and leaving it where you'll find it. It's not that I wouldn't like you to know who your secret admirer is, it's just that I'm really, really shy. I'm also afraid that if I tell you who I am, you'll reject me or laugh at me. So for now, I'd just like to admire you from afar. Admiring you isn't hard to do. You're the most attractive man I know and no one in this planet earth can hold a candle to you.
You're the bright spot in my day, Mr @#*&. I think I could almost say that I love you. Yes! I will say it. But I'm still not brave enough to tell you. Maybe, after I've worked up the courage, I'll ask you out for a drink or a meal. We could meet at Mamak Stall and get to know each other over a long, leisurely dinner. Maybe if we were sitting across the table from each other, I wouldn't be so shy and would be able to tell you how I feel. And you could tell me all about your life -- your hopes, your dreams, your goals.
If we could meet, I'd be able to tell you all the things I love about you. I love the way you talk & joke even when other people don't laugh. I love the way the light shines on your brown hair and the way your clothes are always so funky. You're perfect and I'd love to be the lucky gal who wins your love. If only I had the courage to tell you how I feel.
Until then, I'll just have to stay,
Your Secret Admirer

When A girl....

Advice for guys.
When she acts shy - Say I Love You.
When she runs from you - Chase her.
When she puts her face near yours - Kiss her..
When she kicks and punches you - Hold her tight.

When she is silent - She's thinking of how to say I love you.
When she ignores you - She wants all you attention.
When she pulls away - Grab her by the waist and never let go.
When you see her at her worst - Tell her she's Beautiful.

When she screams at you - Tell you love her; But you have to mean it.
When you see her walking - Sneak up behind her and grab her by the waist.
When she's scared - Hold her and tell her everything will be okay cause she's with you.

When she looks like something is the matter - Kiss her and tell her not to worry.
When she holds your hand - Play with her fingers.
When she says she's cold - Move closer
When she walks away and looks in the distance - Walk up beside her and talk to her.

When she flirts with you - never turn her down or ignore her.
when its just you and her in the room - Ask her to stay a little longer.
Compliments, Compliments, Compliments!
Girls -

Nightmare at Universiti Malaya Medical Center That Made me into THE ULTIMATE BITCH

Today finally took my best friend Nini to the hospital.Fetch her, Asmah and Nini's 2 kids(Daryl & Juria)at around 3.30pm. Reached the hospital at around 4pm. As we reached there,during the registration, the lady at the counter told us that the system was down and that we may have to wait for about 4-5 hours before our turn.
Nini was in so much pain, and I have some cash but I don't think it was enough for us to go to private hospital. At around 4.30pm, her name was called. Thought..wow that was fast. They called her in just to take her weight, blood pressure and heart beat. continue waiting. While waiting as usual me became the clown just to entertain Nini (lol..though she can't laugh coz it will hurt her more)and especially Nini's 2 kids, Daryl and Juria.
Looking at the time..it was already 6pm. 2 hours have gone by and yet Nini's name was not called. What took them so long? The answer was "Oh the system was down since morning". I can see in Nini's face that she was in pain and i know the pain was unbearable. I kept on joking about every each patient that passed by. Just so that she can forget the pain. Guess it didn't work.
Hours passed by, my tummy was playing drum and God knows the song that was playing in my tummy sound something like this.." Im hungry..Im hungry..I need fooooooodddd"..LOL!
Took Juria and Daryl with me to the cafeteria to get some food for ourselves. Was telling myself, I need cigarette but there wasn't any shop that sells ciggi. Managed to cheer up the kids though..even though I'm such a lousy clown, I must say.
At 10.30pm (that was like what? 5 hours of waiting patiently) Nini was in so much pain that she couldn't sit nor stand. I decided to go into the Consultation ward to find out what took them sooooo long?
This is where the nightmare begin. Me standing there holding Nini who at that time couldn't stand the pain anymore. she could not stand up that I had to hold on to her body.Asked the nurse in a nice tone " Excuse me Nurse..how long more do we need to wait?" her reply was " Can you please wait as we don't have the blood test result".
And then I asked them " Can I at least put my friend on a bed as she cant stand nor sit down". None of the doctors or the nurse entertained my request. That really pissed me off. And my stupid ex husband had to call at that time..as usual he loves to order me around and that was it!
The situation became so intense that I blew my top. My first answer was to my ex hubby when he asked me "When Are you coming back? Have you bought ridhwan this and that" So my reply was " I don't know because the FUCKING DOCTORS and Nurses here doesn't seem to care if the patient live or die" and I hang up the phone.
When the nurses and the doctors acted as if we were invisible, that's when I shouted at them.
One of the doctor finally told me "Why don't u lay her down on one of the bed. I took Nini to one of the bed when suddenly the Staff Nurse had to shout and said "Please use the other bed as that one is meant for ECG room.
Wo! that was it. I had it. I shouted at her from where I was standing." Hello! would you treat your f*#king parents the way you treat your patient?..I don't give a shit as she is in so much pain"
Finally one young handsome doctor came. He gently asked me to put NIni on the other bed and he will do the checking on her. I guess he saw me blowing my top at the nurses and the other dactor...he was so gentle.
While he was doing the checking, here came the security guard telling me in a rude way.."Please only one person can wait with the patient, the rest has to wait outside" woopppss..wrong timing. I just turned my head to him and told him off.
He was speechless. He just didn't dare to say anything and left us there.
Finally we were attended by Doctor Osama.(Kinda cute, expatriate from middle east I reckon- yummy yummy)
Finally, Nini were move to an observation ward and I finally left her for the night(the time showed 12.30am) Oh no my report and proposals..!I have not finished them yet. I'm so gonna be dead. Oh what the heck! Im just gonna let it be...
Now the time show's 2.06am. Im too tired..better hit the sack. I will continue this journal tomorrow