Putting On Weight...sob sob sob

Its been 4 months I quit smoking due to my bone cancer. Not only I quit smoking but I change my diet to be a vegetarian. Everytime after my meal, i crave for sweet dessert. I would drive to Sunway Pyramid just to get myself a huge tub of popcorn.
I don't know if its because of my quit smoking that makes me crave for the sweet dessert or is it because of the injection I just had for my bone cancer. Even if Im dying, I do not wish to put on weight.
Heheheeh don't want the extra weight when they carry my dead body when I'm dead. Speaking of which, last night sitting alone at my window, the thought of death just came to mind. I mean everyone will die but when I got to know about my cancer, I tried not to think about it most of the time but once in a while the thought just came.
Last night while sitting at the window doing my normal routine, talking to my creator, telling Him how sad I am because i have not been able to perform complete 5 times prayer. I tried so much to do all 5 times but still fail despite putting reminder in my phone.Then I asked Him about the time, when He will pluck the leave with my name written on it and drop it to the Angel of Death to collect my soul, how will the angel come to me. Will he come in a good form or will he come in a horrible form. That particular time i felt a chill running thru my body.
From the dim light, i look at my hand and look up at the sky and told God, this will soon be the food of the creepy crawler and that time, I just had to enlighten my mood by smiling to God and said " I better not feed my body with too much pain killers and the drugs from the hospital as the creepy crawler might not enjoy their feast. That put a smile on my face and at that time I knew Allah must be smiling at me and the crazy story I was telling Him.
Oh dear God, please make my life on earth and hereafter an easy journey...I know I might not always be able to move the mountains but I am strong and I am gonna held my head high..

A Princess?

Last Friday I was at the office when my phone rang. Saw on the screen "POP" and with my dad's picture appeared. Had a quick look at my watch and it was only 7.45pm. My heart was saying "Ah must be my son Ridhwan". As I picked up the call, it was my dad on the other end. He said "Girl are u about to leave the office already?" and I said to him not really. Then he said "Wait there, I am coming o pick u up and have dinner at Kak Noni's house." (Kak Noni is my cousin- the first Malaysian Lady pilot for a fighter jet, oh her real name is Leftenant Colonel Emilia Kamaruddin, NONI is the family name..wooops!)
Around 8.15pm, my dad called again and said that he was at the front gate. The journey to my cousin's place at TUDM base, seriously I had 5 near death encountered. My dad's driving is like "Hey everyone make way..this is my road.." LOL! Now I know what my niece Tiara meant when she said "Antie everytime Tok came to pick me up, I always thought Im never gonna reached Subang."
Finally we reached Kak Noni's house safely. The last time I met my cousin was like what, emmm 7-8 years ago?Can't remember. SHe just got back from a year trip to Washington DC for some training. My uncle Pak Wan was there with his wife to be. (He is my dad's eldest brother and he is 75 and yes he is gonna get married soon, thank God my dad has this thing "HE WILL ONLY REMARRY IF THERE IS 32DAYS IN A MONTH kinda principle...pheewww!).
We had dinner and then I told my auntie(Kak Noni's mom-Mak Ngah) that i want to go to Padang and meet all my relative there and then this story came out about my great grandmom.
According to my uncle Pak Wan n my Auntie Mak Ngah, my great grandmother who is my dad's grandmother was the youngest princess of Sultan Suku Chiniago. When i heard that, I asked my uncle " WOw! does that mean I'm a princess too?"..and he laughed.He continued the story saying that my great grandmother ran to Malaya and thats when this family began their life at Sungai Choh, Rawang.
And I continued asking my dad, since my late mom was a scottish, could she too be related to a Viking..LOL! A princess from Padang and a mix of Viking, soooo thats why my temper at times beyond control just like my late mom and at times Im a soft spot probaly comes from the Padang Princess's nature. Hmmm! A princess huh? Wow that makes me a royal blood too..hahaahah.
This coming October, I will be going to Bandung for my cancer treatment, and I am thinking of going to to Padang too to meet my family members there.
Maybe that explain why I was born with something extra. I was born to see the UNSEEN creature all the time, I have my 3rd eye and anyone hurt me or my feelings, something bad will happen to them. And of those people who can read others will say that I was born with "A FRIEND". One of the reason that caused my divorce.
But whatever it is, I always pray to Allah to protect my heart from being arrogant, inconsiderate and bad. Anyway, got this picture of the Rumah Gadang(Big House) that belongs to my ancestor before it burned down by a lightning strike.