To My Jazzy Buddy

If only at this moment my very close buddy (who self proclaimed to be the cousin of Mr George Benson...lol)could be here with me right now and listen to this video clip....i bet he will close his eyes and moved his head as if he is high on weed..so "Mr of so called the cousin of GB" this video clip is specially for you..Layyyaaaannnn


Since we can't go to Java Jazz this year...so buddy...lets enjoy it here....

LOST

Lyrics | Michael Buble lyrics - Lost lyrics

I can't believe it's over
I watched the whole thing fall
And I never saw the writing that was on the wall
If I only knew
Days were slipping past
That the good things never last
That you were crying

Summer turned to winter
And the snow it turned to rain
And the rain turned into tears upon your face
I hardly recognized the girl you are today
And god I hope it's not too late
It's not too late
'Cause you are not alone
I'm always there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
When your world's crashing down
And you can't bear the thought
I said, babe, you're not lost

Life can show no mercy
It can tear your soul apart
It can make you feel like you've gone crazy
But you're not
Though things have seemed to changed
There's one thing that's still the same
In my heart you have remained
And we can fly fly fly away

'Cause you are not alone
And I am there with you
And we'll get lost together
Till the light comes pouring through
'Cause when you feel like you're done
And the darkness has won
Babe, you're not lost
And the world's crashing down
And you cannot bear to crawl
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost
I said, baby, you're not lost

I Am Sorry For Having To Make This Decision..

Today, i have finally decided that i am not gonna get married "again". The problem is I don't know what should I tell my the "other half's"parents that i decided to call off the wedding. I have been postponing the wedding since last year April. Everyone that i know has been asking when is the big day, when is the big day...The last marriage was not only a failure but it has left me a deep scar..

What made me change my mind? Well, last time it was just fear..but now after seeing the condition of my good friend who is also having cancer, made me realised how things can change within a very short period of time. And there are so many things that i want to do in life. I don't know if one day my cancer can and will be cured..so i have decided to tell him the truth. I don't think i want to go on with the relationship. I think I will only hurt his feelings but he will get over it.
I just want to focus on my cancer(find the cure), my kids, dad, and i am gonna do lots of backpacking trips either alone or with my best friend Nini. After all life is too short to waste and i think as long as in whatever i do, The Almighty is my number One...it should be OK...
23rd Feb will be my first backpacking, and the next one on the 4th March will be another trip. So with this particular entry...to whom it may concern...you will be set free...

Goodbye Forever

Tonight I have decided to close 1 chapter in my life..i don't want anything to do with the whole entire family anymore..the father, the evil mother in that family and their 3 kids.Chapter closed and i will put them behind and move on...don't want to know anymore and hope they stop harassing me after this..history..period...full stop.

TO MY VERY VERY BEST FRIEND NZ...

Today I am kinda sad coz my best friend NZ has left for Jakarta and only God knows when will he be back here...yes he is just a phone call away but (Gosh if he reads this, he is really really gonna get big headed) but I really do miss having him around. I miss the night cycling we had almost every night( and i am pretty pretty sure he already start missing my special coffee, right NZ?)

The past 3 weeks, i have been going through a very tough time and he is always there for me. He is a very funny guy and always give me good advice regards to my boyfriend..he just know how to make me laugh when i am so hurt and so NZ..this is for you...U are my best friend forever...
Lots of your friends want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down. How lucky I am to have known someone who was so hard to say goodbye to. Promise you won’t forget me, because if I thought you would, I’d never leave. It is by chance we met . . . by choice we became friends. The rain may be falling hard outside, but your smile makes it all alright. I’m so glad that you’re my friend. I know our friendship will never end. Life is partly what we make it, and partly what it is made by the friends whom we choose. An honest answer is the sign of true friendship. Thank you NZ

A true friend reaches for your hand and touches your heart just like u did NZ

When you look around and your world is crumbling or when you think no one loves you, your best friend is the one to run to you.
A best friend is someone who knows what you deeply feel and sees the inner you! its someone who felts the way you do, and never run out over you nomatter what! and someone who knows you can always count on!!!!

My Sentimental Comic Strip

Some people might not enjoy this comic strip but some of us truly know how to appreciate it...hehehe..every pickles comic strip that i posted here on my blog has a personal meaning only a few would understand.

A Korean Sad Love Stories

I have a boyfriend who grew up with me. His name is Jin. I always thought of him as a friend until last year, when we went to a trip from a club. I found that I fell in love with him. Before that trip was over, I took a step and confessed my love for him. And soon, we became a pair of lovers, but we loved each other in different ways. I always concentrated on him only, but by his side, there were so many other girls. To me, he was the only one, but to him, maybe I was just another girl…

“Jin, do you want to go watch a movie?” I asked.
“I can’t”
“Why? You need to study at home?” I felt disappointment grabbing me.
“No… I am going to meet a friend…”

He was always like that. He met girls in front of me, like it was nothing. To him, I was just a girlfriend. The word ‘love’ only came out from my mouth. Since I knew him, I had never heard him say ‘I love you’ before. To us, there weren’t any anniversaries at all. He didn’t say anything from the first day and it continued till 100 days…200days… Everyday, before we say goodbye, he would just hand me a doll, everyday, without fail. I don’t know why…

Then one day…

Me: Um, Jin, I …
Jin: What…don’t drag, just say..
Me: I love you.
Jin: ……you….um, just take this doll and go home.
That was how he ignored my ‘three words’ and handed me the doll. Then he disappeared, like he was running away. The dolls I received from him everyday, filled my room, one by one. There were many…
Then one day came, my 15th year old birthday. When I got up in the morning, I pictured a party with him, and stranded myself in my room, waiting for his call. But… lunch passed, dinner passed… and soon the sky was dark… he still didn’t call. It was already tiring to look at the phone anymore. Then around 2am in the morning, he suddenly called me and woke me from my sleep. He told me to come out of the house. Still, I felt joy and I ran out happily.
Me: Jin…

Jin: Here…take this…
Again, he handed me a little doll.
Me: What’s this?
Jin: I didn’t give it to you yesterday, so I am giving it to you now. I’m going home now, bye.
Me: Wait, wait! Do you know what today is?
Jin: Today? Huh?
I felt so sad, I thought he would remember my birthday. He turned around and walked away like nothing had happen.Then I shouted… “Wait…”
Jin: You have something to say?
Me: Tell me, tell me you love me…
Jin: What?!
Me: Tell me
I put my pathetic self behind and clung on to him. But he just said simple cold words and left.
“I don’t want to say…that I love someone so easily, if you are desperate to hear it, then find someone else.”
That was what he said. Then he ran off. My legs felt numb… and I collapsed to the ground. He didn’t want to say it easily… How could he…. I felt that… Maybe he is not the right guy for me…
After that day, I stranded myself at home crying, just crying. He didn’t call me, although I was waiting. He just continued handing me a little doll every morning outside my house. That’s how those dolls piled up in my room… everyday

After a month, I got myself together and went to school. But what made the pain resurface was that… I saw him on a street… with another girl… He had a smile on his face, one that he never showed me…as he touched the doll… I ran straight back home and looked at the dolls in my room, and tears fell… Why did he gave these to me… Those dolls are probably picked out by some other girls…In a fit of anger, I threw the dolls around. Then suddenly, the phone rang. It was him. He told me to come out to the bus stop outside my house. I tried to calm myself down and walked to the bus stop. I kept reminding myself that I am going to forget him, that… it’s going to end. Then he came into my sight, holding a big doll.

Jin: Jo, I thought you were pissed, you really came?
I couldn’t help hating him, acting like nothing had happen and joking around. Soon, he held out the doll as usual…
Me: I don’t need it. Jin: What….why…
I grabbed the doll from his hands and threw it on the road.
Me: I don’t need this doll, I don’t need it anymore!! I don’t want to see a person like you again!
I spitted out all the words that were inside me. But unlike other days, his eyes very shaking.
“I’m sorry” He apologized in a tiny voice. He then walked over to the road to pick up the doll…
Me: You stupid! Why are you picking up the doll?! Just throw it away!!!

But he ignored me and just went to pick the doll. Then…

Honk~ Honk~
With a loud honk, a big truck was heading towards him.
“Jin! Move! Move away!” I shouted… But he didn’t hear me, he squatted down and picked up the doll.
“Jin, move!” HONK~!! “Boom!” That sound, so terrifying.
That’s how he went away from me. That’s how he went away without even opening his eyes to say one word to me.
After that day, I had to go through everyday with guiltiness and the sadness of losing him… And after spending two months like a crazy person… I took out the dolls.

Those were the only gifts he left me since the day we started going out. I remembered the days I spent with him and started to count the days… when we were in love…

“One…two… three…” That was how… I started to count the dolls…
“Four hundred and eighty four… four hundred and eighty five…” It all ended with 485 dolls.
I then started to cry again, with a doll in my arms. I hugged it tightly, then suddenly…

“I love you~, I love you~” I dropped the dolls,shocked.

“I….lo..ve…you??” I picked up the dolls and pressed its stomach.

“I love you~ I love you~” It can’t be! I pressed all the dolls’ stomach as it piled on the side.
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
“I love you~”
Those words came out non-stop. I…love you… Why didn’t I realize that….That his heart was always by my side, protecting me. Why didn’t I realize that he love me this much… I took out the doll under the bed and pressed it’s stomach, that was the last doll, the one that fell on the road. It had his blood stain on it. The voice came out, the on that I was missing so much…

“Jo…Do you know what today is? We’ve been loving each other for 486 days. Do you know what 486 is? I couldn’t say I love you…. Um… since I was too shy… If you forgive me and take this doll, I will say that I love you… everyday… till I die… Jo… I love you…”

The tears came flowing out of me. Why? Why? I asked god, why do I only know about all this now? He can’t be by my side, but he loved me until his last minute…

For that… and for that reason… to me… it became courage… to live a beautiful life.