I woke up at 6am this morning for my Subuh Prayer feeling kinda sleepy. I didn’t really have a goodnight sleep last night. I don’t know why I kept hearing knocking on my door every time I fell into my sleep. When I got up to open the door, there wasn’t anyone. Probably my subconscious mind was playing tricks or telling me not to sleep yet. LOL!
After my subuh prayer, I couldn’t go back to sleep. Besides at 7.45am I needed to get myself ready to go to work. Yes it’s Sunday but every Sunday I have to work now since I am handling SMS for the talk show on RTM1, APA KATA WANITA. Was feeling melancholic and suddenly the thought about death came to my mind. Probably the past few days I had been reading this book TUESDAYS WITH MORRIE and it really got into me. And also the cancer made me think about death more often now.
Lying down on my bed, looking at the dark sky with a little bit of orangey, my mind wondered if when the time comes for the Angel of Death to take my soul, how will he look like? Will he come in the form of an Angel with the wings or will he look scary (for the bad soul) or will he look like a handsome man? And my mind got into deeper thoughts about death.
My chest started to feel tight when I thought of the day when my time is up, where no one will see him except me alone. That’s the time I can never tell him to wait because it has been fixed on the day the soul of individual was blown into the mother’s womb. Not a second early and not a second later. I continued looking at the dark sky and wondered, after the Angel of Death has taken my soul out of my body, he will bring it up to all level of the skies where he will knock on every door of the sky with a Salam. I wonder if my soul will be greeted with a warm SALAM or rejected.
I read a book called ALAM BARZAKH where it said if the soul is not welcomed by all the Angels, then u know your soul will be in trouble. The Angel will then throw back the bad soul into the grave where the 2 Angels will come and start the Q & A. Then my chest got really tight and so I decided to sit on my bed to ease my breathing and asked Allah to guide me through out my life here on this earth. I couldn’t go on with the thoughts about death anymore. Pulled my towel and took my shower to get ready to go to RTM.
On the way to RTM, my mind was still wandering……
