Its been 4 months I quit smoking due to my bone cancer. Not only I quit smoking but I change my diet to be a vegetarian. Everytime after my meal, i crave for sweet dessert. I would drive to Sunway Pyramid just to get myself a huge tub of popcorn.
I don't know if its because of my quit smoking that makes me crave for the sweet dessert or is it because of the injection I just had for my bone cancer. Even if Im dying, I do not wish to put on weight.
Heheheeh don't want the extra weight when they carry my dead body when I'm dead. Speaking of which, last night sitting alone at my window, the thought of death just came to mind. I mean everyone will die but when I got to know about my cancer, I tried not to think about it most of the time but once in a while the thought just came.
Last night while sitting at the window doing my normal routine, talking to my creator, telling Him how sad I am because i have not been able to perform complete 5 times prayer. I tried so much to do all 5 times but still fail despite putting reminder in my phone.Then I asked Him about the time, when He will pluck the leave with my name written on it and drop it to the Angel of Death to collect my soul, how will the angel come to me. Will he come in a good form or will he come in a horrible form. That particular time i felt a chill running thru my body.
From the dim light, i look at my hand and look up at the sky and told God, this will soon be the food of the creepy crawler and that time, I just had to enlighten my mood by smiling to God and said " I better not feed my body with too much pain killers and the drugs from the hospital as the creepy crawler might not enjoy their feast. That put a smile on my face and at that time I knew Allah must be smiling at me and the crazy story I was telling Him.
Oh dear God, please make my life on earth and hereafter an easy journey...I know I might not always be able to move the mountains but I am strong and I am gonna held my head high..
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