After i got out of the hospital, i found myself snapping at people, especially at Qel, fighting those mood swings, not wanting to work and a few other things, including just wanting to be left alone. Even when I were at the hospital, I requested not to have visitors from the office except my immediate family members.
Before I was hospitalised recently, my gynecology told me that the level of my hormone was increasing and the heavy bleeding that comes from my uterus were unexplainable. For 2 months, it was like hell for me. The pain and the heavy bleeding , I had to do my blood test twice a week to see my hormone reading and also scanning of my uterus and I had to go through it alone . Yes Qel did the extra prayers so that Allah would take away my suffering but he didn't go through the pain and the mood swing that I had to go through.Until my recent operation to remove my right tube and my left ovary, I am still having my hormonal imbalance.
I am experiencing a roller coaster of emotions such as numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, and difficulty concentrating and it got worst after my operation. From the moment I woke up after the operation until now my emotion has been like a roller coaster. Qel came to KL on the day I had my operation and he is still here with me. But after the operation, my heart just felt numb. I became confused to of my own feelings. I got scared when I thought of marriage and I got scared with the thought of having a relationship.
A couple of days ago, I even felt that I want a break in my relationship. I called up my doctor and asked her if this is normal and she told me that its my hormone trying to set back to a normal level but sometimes its gonna take a while. Feel so alone and sad. My niece told me that each time I feel like getting angry, take a deep breath and exhale (repeat it 3 times).
My doctor also told me that most likely its got to do with my cancer. After going through cancer I learn pretty quickly who really cares and will take the time to talk with me It is frustrating when people I love don't understand anything about what I have gone through and are still going through. I have good days and painful days and I can't be expected to live by any schedule.
3 days ago,Qel told me he has trouble to cope with my mood swing lately. I am one year into recovery and keep hoping that it gets better, but the mood swings seem to increase! Combination of self pity, fear, and anger- on the bad days. Tell yourself why you feel that way on the good days, but when the bad days show up no logical thinking helps.
My ex GM told me.."Ellie, do some therapeutic cooking while I am on long medical leave...it will help to heal your hormonal imbalance". I will just do that i guess..
Before I was hospitalised recently, my gynecology told me that the level of my hormone was increasing and the heavy bleeding that comes from my uterus were unexplainable. For 2 months, it was like hell for me. The pain and the heavy bleeding , I had to do my blood test twice a week to see my hormone reading and also scanning of my uterus and I had to go through it alone . Yes Qel did the extra prayers so that Allah would take away my suffering but he didn't go through the pain and the mood swing that I had to go through.Until my recent operation to remove my right tube and my left ovary, I am still having my hormonal imbalance.
I am experiencing a roller coaster of emotions such as numbness, disbelief, anger, guilt, sadness, depression, and difficulty concentrating and it got worst after my operation. From the moment I woke up after the operation until now my emotion has been like a roller coaster. Qel came to KL on the day I had my operation and he is still here with me. But after the operation, my heart just felt numb. I became confused to of my own feelings. I got scared when I thought of marriage and I got scared with the thought of having a relationship.
A couple of days ago, I even felt that I want a break in my relationship. I called up my doctor and asked her if this is normal and she told me that its my hormone trying to set back to a normal level but sometimes its gonna take a while. Feel so alone and sad. My niece told me that each time I feel like getting angry, take a deep breath and exhale (repeat it 3 times).
My doctor also told me that most likely its got to do with my cancer. After going through cancer I learn pretty quickly who really cares and will take the time to talk with me It is frustrating when people I love don't understand anything about what I have gone through and are still going through. I have good days and painful days and I can't be expected to live by any schedule.
3 days ago,Qel told me he has trouble to cope with my mood swing lately. I am one year into recovery and keep hoping that it gets better, but the mood swings seem to increase! Combination of self pity, fear, and anger- on the bad days. Tell yourself why you feel that way on the good days, but when the bad days show up no logical thinking helps.
My ex GM told me.."Ellie, do some therapeutic cooking while I am on long medical leave...it will help to heal your hormonal imbalance". I will just do that i guess..
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