Sunday, October 17, 2010

Being a single mom...

Again, my back door neighbor's maid has done it again. She managed to convince my new maid to leave. All my next door neighbors have problem with their maids because of this particular maid behind our house. So now it's been a week i have no maid helping me out. Being a working single mom is tough....and without maid is even tougher. But i am not gonna sit and cry because I know I am under Allah's protection. Knowing that itself has given me the peace of mind.
Many men would have this funny thought when it comes to single mom or divorcee. LOL their mind would generate this animal instinct (NOT SAYING ALL MEN YEAH but 50% would).Even some mothers when they know that their son dates a divorcee, they freak out. Actual fact its not easy doing what we're doing because we wear so many hats that we sometimes get confuse ourselves. We sometimes have to listen to how others view you like "Oh she is so bossy, oh she is so dominant and oh she is so strong but what they don't see is that at times we get weak too but master the art of keeping it out of view. When is forced to come into anything harder, we are forced to be role of father and mother.

Now that i am "maidless", I am forced to be everything and hiding my tears. I will sleep at 3 in the morning and by 5.15am i have to wake up and do the laundry, prepare breakfast for my kids, mop and vacuum which need to be done daily because my son is asthmatic, the house need to be extremely clean. And by 8.30 am i have to be at work. And from 1-2pm, i would switch off the office lights when every one is out for lunch, i would creep under my desk and take a nap..everyday i would do this.
I have to be strong. Despite having cancer, i still managed to do 2 jobs during day time just to put food on the table for my kids as i don't get alimony from my ex for the kids, and alternate night having to attend night class w
hich finishes almost 11pm, and by the time I reached home, i will have to prepare school stuff for my kids so that it will be easy for them the next day. But above all this..i enjoy every bit of my life. So to Allah, "Thank you, I'm sorry. please forgive me, I love you" ( this is what I chant every morning when I wake up and before I go to sleep).
At this moment I wish my mom is still around. I need her to hug me and tell me that I will be ok. :( (sobbing)

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