HEaling myself from within..

You want to heal your life or at least parts of it, but have you ever wondered how it will affect others? Have you ever gone farther with this and wondered if your healing could heal him too? Or maybe it will chase him away?

I came to a place in my life when the desire for an extended journey inward called me so strongly, I couldn’t help but heed the call. So off I went, randomly choosing one of the roads that led within.

I soon found myself wondering if my man was noticing my growth which also came with “growing pains”. Would this change how he felt about me? I hoped of course he would feel better about me and about us. I hoped he would feel more connected to me.

But what if he felt threatened by it? What if my growth would make him feel uncomfortable, for wouldn’t my healing bring up things in him? And maybe these things would freak him out, causing him to abandon me in search of status quo.

These thoughts may have crossed my mind, but I wasn’t going to let it deter me, so I had to trust, in my own path and in him, that he would want to grow right along with me.

For the most part, your inner workings, the struggles, the triumphs go on inside you mostly unnoticed to the extent that no one will come to you and tell you that it seems as though you must be working on yourself.

The farther you venture inside YOU and weed out and release the “stuff” you no longer need nor serves you, the things that keep you from being the person you want to be, the woman you really are at heart, the greater are the chances that someone will see it and feel it, especially those close to you such as your man.

As You Heal Your Life, Your Partner May Notice New And Extended Moods( Hehehe my temporary mood swings- to my man, u know what i mean...I warned you already baby)

1. He might notice that you seem blue, a heaviness pervading you during a time when you are working to peel away a particularly nasty piece.
2. Or when you are immersed in intense introspection, some old painful blocks within may manifest outwardly as troubled and irritable or quiet and withdrawn or sad and gloomy or morose and pensive or just kind of off.
3. He WILL perceive a peacefulness enveloping you, a lightness following the relinquishing of that big, bad chunk.

The more you can release these layers, the more AMAZING you will feel, like a huge relief, like a big sigh but better, maybe more like an orgasm. A lovely calm will permeate you as a huge smile paints itself on your face and lovely energy pours out of you.

Your man will certainly feel the positive aspects as you heal, but it’s unlikely he will say much if anything at all about ANY of it. This might feel confusing to you. And it’s okay.

The More Deeply You Heal Your Life, The More You Need To:

* Talk about whatever arises in you with a close friend, a confidante, a coach, or a therapist. Women do very well, much better usually if there is someone on whom they can unload, use as a sounding board and/or as a support system.

* Journaling is an excellent tool as well though I suggest it as an adjunct.

* And when I feel ready, I will TELL him. Sound scary? It doesn’t have to be. I want to keep it simple though.

~ I will tell him that i feel introspective lately, disconnected maybe, whatever it is I feel.

~ I will tell him I am sorting things out within myself, that i want to dig out some “bad stuff”.

~ I will tell him I am working to open my heart up even more, as I let go of old habits.

~ I will tell him i don’t want him to think I am upset with him.

~ I will NOT outline my journey with him though.

It’s just NOT a good idea to share the details with your man. Men do not understand this work the way we do, for the most part. They think differently; they work things through differently though the end result can often appear much the same.

You’re more open and connected. That’s all he needs or wants to know. Not how you got there. Not what you uprooted. Not what you felt as you traveled through nor what you thought. He only wants to know the now.

And this frustrates many women, for most of us want to talk about it all, explain ourselves, go over every little item. Rather than allowing this be to a source of frustration, let it be, and go tell all to your best girlfriend.

When I became stronger within myself, more secure, felt safer, once the darker clouds lifted I did eventually tell my man what was going on with me.

I told him I had been having a tough time, digging down deeply, letting go of unneeded, unwanted “stuff” which had been interfering. I told him I had been working on releasing fears. And THAT’S ALL I told him. Any more than this, and a man’s eyes will start to glaze over.

So when you heal YOUR life, how does it effect HEALING in HIS?

Much of the male inner work is unconscious, often prompted by OUR INNER WORK. They DO tend to take our lead in this. When YOU heal YOUR life, you can heal him too. BUT you have to keep in mind that you cannot make him see or do anything. He will, or he won’t. If he comes along for the ride, great, but you CAN’T MAKE HIM.

Could this mean the end of your relationship? Sure, there is always that possibility, but ask yourself this, would you rather stifle your growth to accommodate another? I hope your answer is no.

You may grow apart. But IF the LOVE between you is strong, the connection DEEP, these elements tend to become more so.

There’s nothing for you to do. He can take your lead, and he likely will if you are closely bonded, but remember his process still won’t look anything like yours.

So by healing yourself you CAN facilitate HIS healing. Heal YOUR life. Heal HIM.