Saturday, March 7, 2009

I'm having FRENEMY in my life....

Now we're still pursuing our careers at that age, and men are less reliable in the marriage stakes and want to commit later, so girlfriends take on a whole new meaning.And yet we've got sloppy at female friendship.These days nothing is quite the same,you've got yourself 1,214 friends on Facebook, five of whom you've actually met in person.
With the click of a mouse, you can befriend and break up, hook up and make up, all without having to leave the warm glow of your computer screen and do something unthinkable like interact with a real, live human being.'
So the point is how to reconnect with real friendship, not cyber-fakes, and to differentiate between the true girlfriend and the frenemy who half wants you to succeed but mostly loves it when you fail - at men, fashion or career.
She's the kind of woman who, while affecting deep concern, is the mistress of undermining. She is fond of saying things along the lines of: 'You look tired,' 'You're going to eat all that?' 'Your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend is soooooo pretty.' Good friends are like orgasms - you're lucky enough to have one and really lucky if you have multiple ones.' We need girlfriends for life and often for dear life.women who hate instead of embracing one another. It is a phenomenon that every working woman will recognise. Women can be fantastic friends outside the office, but put them in the workplace and they become the personification of conceit, deceit and downright nastiness.
Without even realising it, women slip into Player HateHer mode. And I defy anyone reading this to say they have not been guilty of this kind of scrutiny of other women. A Player HateHer is a woman who 'unnecessarily displays a negative attitude towards another woman for trivial reasons'. Why? Because they're jealous, insecure and intimidated.
First, don't get over-emotional. If you feel jealous, cool down and ask yourself why you feel this way, and if you could be the one at fault.
Best of Friends? The girls from the hit U.S. sitcom stuck together, despite the occasional cat-fight

Best of Friends? The girls from the hit U.S. sitcom stuck together, despite the occasional cat-fight

Secondly, respect works. Nothing is likely to lose other people's respect more than being disrespectful either to a senior or junior in the workplace.

Thirdly, don't be a bitch. Spiteful emotional explosions end up hurting no one but yourself.

Fourthly, try to consider other people's feelings and think about how much you've hurt them, instead of how much they've hurt you.

Sure it's not rocket science, but if it were all that obvious, why would we have so many Player HateHers in our midst?

Likewise, the authors of Friend Or Frenemy? have some sound advice for how to hold on to true friendships.

The Friend Commandments are:

1. Thou shalt not covet they friend's life.

2. Thou shalt not covet thy friend's

boyfriend, even if you think he's way too hot for her.

3. Thou shalt give more than thou taketh away from a friendship.

4. Thou shalt never call thy friend and say: 'My boyfriend's away for the weekend. Wanna hang out?' Put your girlfriends first now and again.

5. Thou shalt not spread malicious gossip about a friend unless thou wants to be run over by the karma bus.

6. Thou shalt say: 'Those jeans make your butt look really good.' That's your story and you're sticking to it.

7. Friends don't make their friends wear seafoam green taffeta bridesmaid dresses. Just be happy for one another for one day. It will probably end in divorce anyway.

8. Thou shalt compromise. And compromise. And compromise.

9. Thou shalt not lose touch.

10. Thou shalt not let thy friend leave the house wearing Crocs, unless said friend is working in a hospital.

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