My 40th Birthday Was God's Gift

30th March 2010 was my 40th birthday and this year i received the most birthday wishes as compared to any other years. My facebook wall was filled with birthday wishes even from my all my bosses. But on that day itself I received another bad news regards to my health. Just felt like my whole world collapsed. I text my fiance Qel and also my best friend Nini. But at that moment only God knows what I was feeling. I can only share my fear with my fiance and my best friend but i can never make them feel what I was feeling then. The only One i can turn to and who truly knows what I was feeling was God. That day I begged Him to give me another chance to be a better servant to Him and I decided to put all my trust in Him. The doctor gave me whole week medical leave.
I was trusting God. I now had more time to concentrate on God’s plan and getting healthy. I went a healthy diet and began to eat a low fat diet with lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains though i miss my favourite food- LAMB CHOP & STEAK. I bought “organic” whenever possible. I took vitamins and drank herbal teas(though my fiance and my best friend kept telling me stop taking that diet tea ellie) and lots of water. I gave up caffeine (Not 100% yet la)a. I play squash weekly and long relaxing cold showers. I spent time in prayer and meditation – trusting God. I learned to fully trust God. He is the provider for all my needs. His grace is sufficient.
Cancer has taught me to trust. I was always trusting myself, instead of trusting God. But I find that God provides for all my needs. When I get overwhelmed by circumstances, it’s because I’m trying to do it again, and not turning it over to Him. When I release my cancer to God, He works everything out for good. I kept a journal of my feelings and the things for which I was grateful.
I knew my life on earth was temporary. Only God knew the number of years and His timing is perfect. So I put my trust in Him and He gave me these last days to see His wonderful plan being worked out in the lives of those I love. I have been blessed to see my two babies come into this world and to get to know each of them as unique individuals created by God. I wish I could be around as they grow to celebrate their successes and special occasions with them.



I am also blessed to have a wonderful guy in my life, Qel. Despite knowing I have cancer, he is always there with me. I haven't been an easy girlfriend to him lately since I have my relapsed and the news i received on my birthday. I can never thank him enough and most of all I can never thank Allah for the life i have. My special thanks to my fiance Qel.




My special thanks to my dad, my sister Enita and my brother Izal and his wife Linda who have never stop praying for my recovery.