Never take her as an OPTION

She came to you asking for attention, you said you were busy.. She called out to you in the middle of the night, you said you wanna sleep.  She fought with you for no reason just to spend time talking to the one she needs the most, you said she is impossible.. yes she is bad..demanding..possessive..jealous, weak, emotional
 And yes she throws a lot of tantrums right?... But remember...once upon a time when you were ALONE, you look at the moon and said "I'll give Everything for Someone who disturb me all the time, I'll never leave her alone, I'll never let her cry... SHE still LOVE YOU

Maybe you should just try to understand her ♥

To My Precious Lil Prince

This is for you my precious son, through the years and all the tears, I am very proud of you.
You achieved a lot of success and all your goals for primary school .....onto secondary school you now go. You did well and showed them all you could with high hopes and plans anew.

 The future has lots to offer that's true. Be wise, be glad, be happy, and show others by your example. 
 You've got five more years of learning, and probably a couple more with University after that.
 The time for you to become a man is nearing, where did that little boy go. That's ok because I know I gave you roots to grow. I now give you wings to soar. Go on, be well, do great things and more success will follow all of your heart's desire for sure.

 

As for your future is concerned, aim for the stars because for a born fighter only the sky is the limit. No matter where you go or how successful you become, never lose faith in God. Always be humble. I will always think about you. Right from when you were a little kid and till today, you have only given me reasons to hold out heads up in pride. I am so lucky to have you in my life.

 I love my son, he is the best thing that ever happened to me. I see in his eyes my own soul, I touch his hand and I feel my heart skip with great joy for the wonderful blessing that is given me!

Is is a sin to be a "Divorcee"?

7 years I was a divorcee until i got married to my current husband. During the 7 years of being a divorcee, a lot of things have been said upon me just because my status was "DIVORCEE" and many times the word "Janda tu" was said to me. The worst thing was when the one that said was from a mouth of another female.

None of us are exempt from going through divorce or experiencing it in the lives of the best of our children or family members. Hence it is very important that we watch very carefully what we say about those who are divorced and how we treat them, speak to them or look at them. In many instances, two individually brilliant people divorce, not because one is bad but because together, they were unable to survive. This is proven by the fact that in many cases both are then very happily married to others.

Remember, if your mouth or actions become hurtful to those divorced, there may come a time when you will be dumbfounded by repetition of the same if not worse in your own home! Never be from those who frown upon, look down upon, criticize or gossip about those divorced, making them feel unworthy.

The Messenger pbuh chose to marry a divorced woman and repeated this type of choice. Had they been "bad" simply because they were divorced, he would have been the furthest away from them. Shame upon those parents who do not allow their children to consider a divorced spouse. They need to know that many people say that marriages to those previously divorced are more likely to be everlasting. May the Almighty guide us all and grant us ALL spouses who will be the coolness of our eyes. Aameen

Blessed Marriage

Your relationship with your life partner should be of great friendship, great trust, and exceptional care. There should be no embarrassment in showing the deepest levels of compassion for each other. We shouldn't feel embarrassed in being serviceable to each other. There should be no shame in cooking, cleaning, doing your partner's laundry, opening the door, taking off shoes, massaging and doing all sorts of kind acts. We shouldn't have to worry about our egos. We should make each other comfortable to the level where there is no hesitation to express our deepest forms of love. To the level that the husband is respected as a King for his service towards his wife, and the wife is treated like a Queen for her service to her husband. And there is an atmosphere of giving instead of expecting. No one person should take the other's humility as their weakness or abuse them for it. It takes two to preserve the peace and tranquillity in a marriage. And all the above requires love and mercy!

I am glad to be married to my best friend.  The best friendship is that which is between a husband and wife! If your husband/wife is not your best friend then the marriage is most likely to suffer.Love your spouse by loving his/her choices and emotions. Loving a person means respecting his/her ego.

One of the greatest means of attaining happiness in marriage is kindness. Kindness is something easy: a cheerful face and a gentle word. So try to adopt this kindness towards your husband / wife – until it becomes ingrained in you – and you will win his/her heart and make him/her be affectionate and compassionate towards you.

I am so blessed to be your wife Mahal ko

Dear Mahal Ko

I wanted to write this letter to let you know that I am thinking about you and that I love you so much. I know we have our differences and we were made into two different people, but I believe we were made us just for each other. I appreciate all that you have done for me and all that you continue to do to show your love for me. Thank You!
You make me smile when I don't feel like smiling; you make me happy when I am sad and you bring joy and peace into my everyday worries. For that, I am so blessed to have you as my spouse and I am thankful for you every day.

Everyday you give me joy and I can never thank Allah enough

I cherish each day I can wake up next to you and spend time together, whether it's a lot of time or a small block of time. I also cherish each night that we share our bed together; knowing that we can end our night as one holding each other, and letting go of the worries from that day.
I often ask the question, "Can I really be this blessed to have you in my life?" My answer is always a resounding yes because how can I complain about someone as wonderful as you are. You were wonderful enough for me to marry you, so I know that what made you so special back then is still shining bright in you.
On this day, I wanted to thank you for loving me, thank you for putting up with me, thank you for being patient with me, thank you for making me smile, thank you for serving me and most of all, thank you for being the wonderful person that I have come to love so much.
Please forgive me if I have ever done or said anything to hurt you, because I want us walk this journey together in love and a renewed commitment to each other.
I hope our marriage will forever be blessed not just as a marriage, but as a "holy matrimony." My sincere prayer is that we can continue to walk this journey side-by-side and day-by-day loving each other, until "death parts us."
Love Always,

Your loving wife 

Ellie

The Adjustment ...

While I’m not a second wife, I have been in contact with many of them and I can assure you that second wives encounter their own share of adjustment issues, and indeed are sometimes completely blindsided by them. I even have friends who is 3rd wife. She told me that her husband gave her a RM1mil plus condo, a luxury car and lots of money but....

Many people assume that since most second wives entered their marriages knowing it would be a polygamous situation, they are not entitled to their share of adjustment issues. This is not only unfair, it’s downright stupid.

Every marriage, polygamous or monogamous, involves an adjustment period and goes through different stages – some harmonious, some discordant. So second marriages should be allowed that room to struggle just like first marriages. The thing is, with second marriages this is happening in the “shadow” of the husband’s experiences with his first wife. So if his first wife was more acquiescent or more domestic or more strong-willed (whatever the case), the second wife will feel she’s being compared to that. And some unwise husbands even harp on such things to their wives (“The other one doesn’t talk back,” “The other one dresses up more,” “The other one [fill-in-the-blank]“). So there may be a sense for a second wife that she has to “live up to” or “excel” her co-wife.

A second wife is also often going through the ups and downs of early marriage at a time when her co-wife is far past all that. Early marriage involves power struggles, boundary setting, cooperation style finding, etc. These things don’t usually happen in complete bliss. They are struggles. They involve conflict and emotion. Can you imagine going through all that feeling that your co-wife has already ironed it all out and is more stable in her relationship with your husband? And what if your style is completely different from that of your co-wife? Some husbands deal better with such a situation than others. Some husbands expect to behave with their second wife exactly the same way they deal with their first, and this does not always work. So sometimes second wives have a double-hard time of it because they have to find their own way and disabuse their husbands of the idea that they are a clone at the same time!

In my opinion one of the worst things second wives have to deal with is the wagging tongues of others. People who are normally kind and generous and forgiving can grow forked tongues and horns when the subject is a second wife. Not only is she accused of being a home-wrecker, but any problems she has are considered deserved, so she suffers twice. This can make for a very lonely road.

So being a second wife can be as much of a struggle as being a first wife. Of course the methods of coming out healthy and victorious are the same: du’a, sabr, and leaning on Allah. If a polygamous family can agree to meet all their challenges with humility and trust in Allah it can be the most rewarding kind of family, because it offers so much room for spiritual growth, maturity, and the gaining of wisdom.

The Reason Why All My Previous Relationship failed, So I Can Have A Perfect One Now

Sometimes the good things in life are the ones where you don't have to call out the obvious, it just is what it is. Apparently even I don't know what it is, but whatever it is, it feels good to stand where I'm standing right now…even when I know it's going to end real soon. I guess at the end of it, this wraps up my understanding about relationships between people. Why people have the relationships they have. Why some people who commit to lovey dovey things everyday still break up and why some people who barely do it can stay together for a lifetime. After all these years, after all my own failed relationships. I finally get. It's all about trust. I have lived enough to know that there is no such thing as the perfect person nor is there a fairy tale ending, but I still believe that there are such things as a perfect relationship. Relationships where strengths compliment each other's weakness, where equals and opposites are at the right place. Perfect relationships exists…it's just that we have to bring it out and thats where things start to go wrong. It is sad that the cynicism and unsaid insecurities are the diseases of the generations today. We live in a world where we always keep that part of us away from the world because we don't want to end up being hurt. The sad thing is…it's that very sense of distrust for the world that makes the world the miserable shell it is now. How many times have we had opportunities lost because we were too afraid to grab the chance? How many times have we had things we have destroyed because we were so scared we were going to lose it anyway? How many times have we had the people we care for walk away because we didn't believe in them to care for us? Too many times I have seen it. Too many times I have lived it. I think it's time to change that. Relationships with people are all about that trust. Trust to watch your back. Trust to care for you. Trust to believe in their abilities. Trust to open your heart to them and let them take you higher. How deep the bonds go between people depends on how well you trust a person to be themselves with you. Without that, no relationship would go anywhere. And it shows…in the way we do things between people. Why do couples act all lovey dovey? Because when you think of it, touch is a way you can reassure each other that you're there for them, that you can trust them to be there for you. Why do friendships fail? Because you eventually realise that you can't trust a person enough to watch your back when the chips are down. So when you boil it down to that simple equation…all you need is to know the reasons why you trust a person. It doesn't have to be that you have to feel them. it doesn't have to be that you have to tell them. It just has to be that you are there when you need to be there. Trust is something that is unspoken for. It cannot be told or written or felt. It is something you earn by the actions in which you live life between the people you're conencted to. Without it, we are the very definition of the loners we have become. Without trust, there can be no connection with people. Without trust, there can be nothing to be entirely human about. Without trust, we are nothing more than living a lie in a nightmare of our own making. I'm not saying that trust is something you should give freely. As I said, the world is a place that can burn you. It's just that by the end of it, the choice for how you want your life to be is entirely yours. You can take a chance and give your trust to people that earned it. Or you can take the chance losing out a life where anything is possible. I trust you can make that right choice. I really do.

To Allah and To Everyone I know, Please Forgive Me For All my wrong doing,

It is said that forgiveness is the sweetest revenge. To err is human and forgiving is divine. If you are not forgiven for any mistake done by you- known or unknown, you will feel the pain it causes. So, you can easily get to the higher position of divinity by forgetting and forgiving the mistakes of others

We humans are prone to making mistakes. It is no crime to make a mistake. Sometimes, in the flow of life we hurt others. Often we sleep over it and some other times we like to say sorry but move on. But, as the song goes, ‘sorry seems to be the hardest word’ and that is so true. Asking for forgiveness is a tough thing because it involves suppressing your ego. At the same time, forgiveness must be heartfelt because there is no felt saying sorry if you don’t mean that. One can also be not sure of forgiveness even if regret is expressed. But one should have heart pure and clean while apologizing.

 Before taking the initiative, one must be pretty sure of why he is sorry. Go behind the reasons and realize your mistake. Then only, the expression will be genuine. Fake apology mostly worsens the case so be very genuine about what you feel. There is one suggestion of writing down your apology. This will make you more comfortable. Writing also helps if the person is feeling embarrassed. One can send this written apology where it is intended. But its always better to meet person one to one and then apologize. One strong suggestion is to never to make any excuse while saying sorry. It does not really give a positive vibe. Avoid blame game and just be sincere. Rest assured, things will fall into place.

Just Sharing

First of all, i would like to apologize if my previous post on dogs may be a little bit daring and offensive. Never will i belittle the hukum of Allah and the prophet's teaching. Should i have offended any of my readers, I humbly apologise for my ignorant. I know in Islam we are not allowed to keep dog as pet but love to share the knowledge

THIS IS SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO THOSE WHO SAID I AM DIRTY FOR LOVING AND TOUCHING DOGS

It is traditional among Muslims all over the world to regard the dog as a dirty animal that when touched would void the wudu (ablution) and infect the one who touched it with "nagasah" (dirty impurity)!

Sadly, this concept comes from fabricated hadith which claims that the Prophet ordered the killing of dogs and gave numerous hadith that prohibit the keeping of dogs except for hunting and guarding, due to their dirty status!

However, by studying the Quran we find no such truth. No where in the Quran are dogs prohibited, nor is there any mention of any contaminating effect of these lovely animals who are man's best friend. Consequently, we must dismiss all these hadith that fabricate lies against the Prophet.

1- God tells us in the Quran about the story of the dwellers of the Cave (Surah 18). In verse 13 God tells us that they were good believers and that God guided them. In verse 18 God tells us that they had their dog with them.

Now if dogs are prohibited and dirty, would God speak of those dwellers of the Cave (who had a dog) as good believers?

2- In 5:4 God tells us that it is okay to eat what the trained dogs catch (dogs are used in hunting). Now if the dog is an animal which causes contamination by mere touch, would God tell us it is perfectly okay to eat what the dog catches with his mouth (let alone just touch the dog)?

3- The Quran contains a very important rule for all believers, and the rule is:

Nothing is haram (unlawful) unless it is prohibited by God Himself, and since God describes the Quran as complete, perfect and fully detailed, thus all the prohibitions decreed by God are found in the Quran. The following Quranic verses confirm this truth:

“Say, "Who prohibited the nice things God has created for His creatures, and the good provisions?" Say, "Such provisions are to be enjoyed in this life by those who believe. Moreover, the good provisions will be exclusively theirs on the Day of Resurrection." We thus explain the revelations for people who know.” 7:32

“Shall I seek other than God as a source of law, when He has revealed to you this book fully detailed?” 6:114

“You shall not utter lies with your own tongues stating: "This is halal (lawful), and this is haram (unlawful)," to fabricate lies and attribute them to God. Surely, those who fabricate lies and attribute them to God will never succeed.” 16:116

There is not one verse in the Quran where God says that dogs are dirty or that they are prohibited to keep.

4- Is it logical that God would create an animal to be man's best friend and serve him in many ways, and then prohibit such an animal?

5- If this is what the Quran has to tell us about the issue of dogs, then where does all the prohibition come from? Where do the claims that dogs are dirty animals which if touched would void our ablution and render us impure come from? As most other corruptions which have crept into Islam, the source is always the fabricated hadith which are falsely attributed to prophet Muhammad!

Hadith tell us that the Prophet prohibited the keeping of dogs as pets. Other hadith tell us that angels won't enter a room where there is a dog. Other hadith tell us that if we touch a dog our ablution is void and we become impure, and that we have to wash seven times to clean this impurity, the final time in dust. That seems inconsistent with the Quran saying you may eat what they catch for you! Some other hadith go even beyond that to say that we must kill all black dogs!

The following are some examples:

Malik's Muwatta, Book 54, Number 54.5.13:

"Malik related from Nafi from Abdullah Ibn Umar that the Messenger of God ordered all dogs (other than sheepdogs or hunting dogs) to be killed".

Ibn Hanbal's collection: The Messenger of God said:

"You shall kill all black dogs, because they are devils."

The question is: Did the Prophet really issue these prohibitions? In addition, did the Prophet have the authority to issue these prohibitions?

The answer is given in the Quran:

"O you prophet, why do you prohibit what God has made lawful in order to please your wives? God is Forgiver Merciful" 66:1

Obviously God did not include the words in 66:1 in the Quran to belittle the Prophet in our eyes, but these words are placed in the Quran in order to confirm to all believers across all time that the Messenger of God does not have the authority to prohibit anything which is not prohibited by God. God is the only Law Maker (6:114) and the only duty of the messenger is to deliver God's message (5:92).

The outcome of all the above is that we must discard all the lies attributed to the prophet regarding prohibiting dogs and be focused on the Quran as the only source of guidance and religious law.

NEVER JUDGE ANYONE BECAUSE You Never Know How Their Life is or as to What is Happening or What They’re Going Through

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call as soon as possible, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father going and coming in the hall waiting for the doctor. Once seeing him, the dad yelled, “Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have the sense of responsibility?”

The doctor smiled and said, “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came the fastest I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work.”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily

The doctor smiled again and replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go and intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace.”

“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy,” murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy.

“Thank goodness! Your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any question, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”

The Power Within Ourselves

The power of THOUGHT.
Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think about. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about others and ourselves. If we want to love someone, we need to consider his or her needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize her when you meet her.

The power of RESPECT.
You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect, ask yourself, What do I respect about myself? - To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, What do I respect about them? -

The power of GIVING.
If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, lifelong, loving relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The power of FRIENDSHIP.
To find a true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other"s eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love him or her for who they are and not for what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love seeds grow. If you want to bring love into a relationship, you must first bring friendship.

The power of TOUCH.
Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The power of LETTING GO.
If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if it doesn"t, it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their own space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life.

The power of COMMUNICATION.
When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: I Love You. Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see him or her. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to the people you loved, who would you call, what would you say and .. why are you waiting?

The power of COMMITMENT.
If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the TRUE test of love. If you want to have loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The power of PASSION.
Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone; it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreated by recreating past experiences. When you felt passionate spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same; all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The power of TRUST.
Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust him or her completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself. Do I trust them completely and unreservedly? - If the answer is no -, think carefully before making a commitment.

Happy Anniversary To My Soul Mate, My Mahal Ko

This journal is specially dedicated to my Mahal Ko. A year has passed.  Easily the best year of my life.  Because you were right there next to me.  I wake up happy because you are there by my side - I look at you and wonder how you are mine.   Thanks for choosing me.  for continuing to choose me everyday.  I got the best darn one.  I wonder how that happen?I keep telling myself I must have done one good thing in this world [yes Mahal, you hear me saying this again and again]

Thanks for all those sweet everyday nothings  - they really aren't nothing.  They mean so much to me.   You have made my days so much brighter.  Thanks for including  me in every decision, big or little.  For wanting my happiness above your own.  You really are the most selfless man out there.  Your compassion and thoughtfulness astounds me.  You are always thinking of others.  You are always thinking of me.  You never hold a grudge.  seriously, never.  that might be your best quality.  but it's hard for me to pick. Please never change.  

Marriage to you has given me a sense of calm and peace I did not have a year ago.  Thank you for that.  It looks like you are rubbing off on me.  even just a little, i'll take it.   I also didn't expect to know you the way i do, how close we have become was incomprehensible to me before.  what will it be like 10, 20, 60 years from now?  

I thank God for you every.single.day.

i love you. always.

so much love,

your wife 

                    

A Beautiful Love Story

One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in love.
But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.
So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.
But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year. The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will you marry me?” She wiped a tear, said yes, and they were engaged. They agreed that when he got back in one year, they would get married.
But tragedy struck. A few days after he left, the girl had a major vehicular accident. It was a head-on collision.
When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her father and mother crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.
She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror. “Yesterday, I was beautiful. Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so many ugly wounds.
Right there and then, she decided to release her fiancé from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again.
For one year, the soldier wrote many letters—but she wouldn’t answer. He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.
But after one year, the mother walked into her room and announced, “He’s back from the war.”
The girl shouted, “No! Please don’t tell him about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”
The mother said, “He’s getting married,” and handed her a wedding invitation.
The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget him now.
With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation.
And then she saw her name on it!
Confused, she asked, “What is this?”
That was when the young man entered her room with a bouquet of flowers. He knelt beside her and asked, “Will you marry me?”
The girl covered her face with her hands and said, “I’m ugly!”
The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you!”