Thursday, April 16, 2009

The Bully At Work


We all know somebody who is a doubletalker, a gossip and a generally untrustworthy person. They are cruel to their enemies and even meaner to their friends - only with the friends the mean streak only comes out when their backs are turned. This type of friend is all sweetness and sugar to people's faces but act uly and spiteful behind their backs. We call people like this "backstabbers" because they sneak around portraying themselves as something they are not, a friend. Do you have one of these snakes in your life? Are you wondering if a bud is really a dud?
They might say they're your 'best friends', but the moment your back is turned, they lie about you to others. No one wants to be hurt in this way, but how do deal with them?
Everyone remembers "the bully" back in grade school, the one that stole your friend's lunch money on a regular basis, shoved you into the lockers from time to time, and intimidated everyone and everything they could...
Now, years later, you're wondering how that same tough, manipulative, arrogant kid apparently teleported into your workplace and ended up working with you...How can this be? Haven’t these people grown up by now?
Any of these sound familiar?...

* Being ridiculed in front of your entire team at staff meetings...

* Being lied about behind your back...

* Feeling like you're always on guard...

* Not being able to focus, and as a result the work has piled up...

It seems like I face these same defeating issues everyday or at least often enough to make me feel anxious...nervous...even hopeless. The uneasy knot in my stomach follows me home...and I discussed the situation with my friends and family. They talk it through with me, which seems to help for the time being. However, after another rough sleep, tomorrow comes...my heart starts pounding…my hands are clammy…the panic returns... and I'm propelled into yet another terrible day with my least favourite person in the world…
My confidence is missing in action, my passive-aggression is through the roof, and I find myself watching the latest Dr.Phil episode on how to battle out of control anxiety...
Deep down I hope that there is some way to make this work, without giving up and having to start all over again with a new job because I'm not a quitter. In fact, I enjoy my job; but I definitely don't feel the same way about the workplace bully that steals your, focus, productivity, confidence, and most importantly my sanity...
Arrrrgggghhhhhhhh!!!!!....

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