True Friends?????

In my life, i have met a lot of people whom i considered as friends and along the way I have lost many too. 90% didn't give me a reason for their departure. A good friend may not share every detail of every second of their life but they do try to be clear about their intentions. This means they tried to present an accurate picture of who they are and of different situations. When something doesn't seem right, they let you know.

A true friend won't try to steal your boyfriend, your job or your PERSONALITY. They won't even gossip about you or try to damage your reputation. But unfortunately most people's favorite past time is gossiping. If only they know the damage they might be doing to the person concerned even if the gossip might be false. This is because people has the tendency to accept gossips at face value and seldom investigate the truth behind it.

When we talk about loyalty..hmm...this quality in a friend....? Hard to find these days. There are few but too few to mention. But I can say few friends like my schoolmates, my MAS batch mates and a few others. How to know if friends are loyal in the friendship? Well, basically a true friend will stick with you when your new play flop, when you bomb KL tower or when your status changed from "married" to "DIVORCE". And no matter where you go, they'll do their best to stay in touch. Heheeh thanks to Facebook, I can stay in touch with my school friends after ages of lost contact.

Anyway, I was deeply heartbroken by a great friend and my mentor. I felt betrayed, stabbed in the back and was shocked, hurt and astounded. I really shouldn't have been surprised. If I had thought about all the times I felt little ouches when I was with her, how insecure I would feel at times and how careful I was at other times, then I would have known this wasn’t a true friend. Instead I focused on the fun factor of our friendship and I didn’t give the quality of our friendship enough attention. Looking back at it, all the signs were there.
Starting at the earliest age, we desire the feeling of being accepted, loved and appreciated. We enjoy the adventure, the comfort and the companionship that friendship offers. With true friends we grow and blossom, we are encouraged to show up as our best selves as we enrich each others lives.With toxic friends we wither, sometimes knowingly other times unknowingly, but regardless the deteriorating effect is still the same. They are friends who i consider "Toxic friends".

Some of the example of toxic friends are like "The manipulator". The manipulator is often stealthy. We don’t tend to see it right away until smack it happens again. They have countless tactics too many to mention, the best way to recognize them is when you feel yourself coerced into responding in away that just doesn’t feel right. And there is also what i call "The Judger". This one i get a lot. The judger just can’t help but judge and criticize us. “You would look great with an age appropriate hairstyle don’t you think?” “I love your home, there so much potential here I know exactly how I would decorate it.” These guys can find fault in anything you do. It’s as though you just can’t do anything right. When it’s done in a joking tone it may be a bit harder to identify....hehehe sometimes when I'm around these type of friends, i would just smile but deep in my heart, I would say "Need to buy you a huge mirror beb".
There is this one type of friend that i have a lot too. I call these people "The Competitor". Why do I call them "The Competitor?" Well "the Competitor" will compete with you even when you’re not competing. If you decide to run a 5k they can’t wait to tell you about how they signed up for a marathon. When you mention you’re your weekend getaway they tell you about their plan for a two week vacation in Tahiti in their beautiful over-water bungalow with panoramic views and fresh exotic fruits. (This one..really annoying..serious serious...I got a few actually).
How about "The Gossiper" (no not the whisperer but the gossiper). This one like i mentioned earlier. "The Gossiper"is more malicious than the average person who periodically finds them self in a bit of gossip. Gossip appears to be the only thing they are interested in and they enjoy exaggeration and little lies to liven up the drama. This can be a disastrous recipe. The Gossiper can destroy relationships, and even compromise your job and reputation. Stay clear of this one because remember, one who always gossips to you about others will gossip to others about you and you won’t know what exaggerations or lies are being added.
The next one is the one that I am a sucker to..."The Opportunist". All they do is “take, take, take.” There is no reciprocity in this relationship. They tend to call you when they need or want something. They’ll go to your party if there isn’t a “better” event happening that night. It’s all about what’s in it for them.
What's next? Let me see..(*putting on my thinking cap)..oh yeah..hehehe there is also the "Energy Vampire". No they are not the vampire like the one Christopher Lee acted as Count Dracula. "The Energy Vampire" is self-absorbed and zaps our energy as they go on-and-on endlessly about themselves. When you leave them you feel exhausted.
And last but not least, "The Negative Paulie"..who is Paulie? Haven't got a clue. Just a name i picked from the Yellow pages..lol. Anyway about "The Negative Paulie"..he or she is a downer, all is wrong in their world. They are pessimistic and resistant. They only want to hear what’s wrong in your life and they tend to get bored or change the subject when you mention your successes or happiness.
Basically 60% of people i met are as I mentioned. Fortunately, I managed to get rid 74%(don't asked me how i got the 74% la)of the above type of people in my life. With my sickness, I really need to be positive 110%(again don't asked why 110% not 120%) all the time.