Last night after work, I had to rush home for 2 reasons. 1. My dad was fasting and I need to be at the table to accompany him for his 'Iftar' otherwise he will not eat. He will not eat if I am not at the table. 2. I need to take Ridhwan to the hospital. He had a severe asthma attack during the weekend, but yesterday he was still having difficulty to breathe and whizzing.
I called his father in the evening, wondering if he could take Ridhwan to the hospital and that I would meet them there. Because my office is nearer to the hospital and my ex husband comes home earlier than I do. I thought by him taking my son and i were to meet them there at the hospital, I can be at 2 places without rushing.(Being with my dad during his Iftar and being with my spidey at the hospital).
But as usual, there will always be excuse. He told me something that made me wish I can smack his bloody brain. He said "Oh I THINK I am gonna come down with fever". I THINK?? ABOUT TO??? WTF@#*??????. So I rush back home earlier. Stopped at Sunway Pyramid on the way home to pay my Maxis bill. Then rushed back home and reached home just a few minutes before papa 'Buka Puasa'. I was hungry but I don't know why I couldn't eat then. Just had a glass of pink guava juice. I couldnt rush my dad. He was eating and having a conversation with me.
Glance at the clock on the wall and it was 5mins past 8. And Doctor Syed closes his clinic at 9pm.
The moment my dad got up, I gave him a peck on the cheek and told him i got to take Spidey to the hospital.
Just as I was in my room, my ex husband text me. Those text messages made me so mad that I broke down. He was nagging asking why weren't I at the hospital yet. And as usual his SMS always hurt my feelings. I didnt notice my son was standing at the door when i broke down and I was cursing and swearing at his father for the first time, while crying, until i felt 2 little hands came hugging me from behind and whispered to my ears, 'Umi please dont cry, I love u so much'. It was spidey. He hugged me so hard and told me everything is gonna be ok and he kept saying he loves me.
I wiped my tears, and told him to get ready. Put my daughter to sleep before I left. Left without having a single food. Instead of taking Spidey to his usual hospital at KJMC, I decided to take him to the Governement Hospital(University Hospital). In the car while driving I had to force myself to be ok and made a conversation with Spidey. Didnt want him to feel sad seeing me hurt.
Reached University Hospital at 9.45pm and just as I entered the Emergency Center at the Hospital, my jaw dropped seeing the crowd.
I were telling God, please help me passed through the crowds. He did actually. Just as i went to the register counter, the lady asked me who needed to see the doctor. When I mentioned my son, she told me to go straight to Paediatric Emergency. I took Ridhwan there and Alhamdulillah, I need not have to wait. He was immediately attended by Doctor Huang(i think he is from China). After thorough check ups, the doctor told me that Spidey need to be on steroid(felt sad to hear that, he is only 9 and has to be on steroids?)The doctor gave him his nebulizer and also the steroid. Now he has to use the 2 types of inhaler from previous doctor, now plus extra steroid and aerochambers.
By 12.30 am, everything settled. Only then Spidey's father called asking how's thing? Eeerrrggh!
After the nebulizer, spidey was back to his normal bubbly self coz then he was able to breathe normally. We stop at the Hospital Kopitiam to have our supper. At that moment I were too hungry that i could eat a whole horse. My tummy was playing funny music..couldnt tell if it was hip hop or rap of R&B.It sounded more like the traditional keroncong. I only had 2 half boiled eggs and a slice of toasted bread while spidey always has a huge appetite though he is skinny, had Mee curry. We were talking and laughing and he was making funny faces.
Reached home at 2am, took a nice cold shower, slipped into my boxer short and my camisole, sat on my bed facing the window, do my serenity prayer and told Allah about today and counted my blessing. He pointed out to me things I didnt see earlier when I were upset with my ex hubby.
1. He answered my prayer when i had to face the crowds
2. My children will always be there for me because I am always there for them
3. The quality time i have with the kids is something precious and irreplaceable.
4. The love the kids have for me will grow deeper and deeper day by day.
I close my eyes and gave Allah a spiritual hug and thank Him for everything.
I called his father in the evening, wondering if he could take Ridhwan to the hospital and that I would meet them there. Because my office is nearer to the hospital and my ex husband comes home earlier than I do. I thought by him taking my son and i were to meet them there at the hospital, I can be at 2 places without rushing.(Being with my dad during his Iftar and being with my spidey at the hospital).
But as usual, there will always be excuse. He told me something that made me wish I can smack his bloody brain. He said "Oh I THINK I am gonna come down with fever". I THINK?? ABOUT TO??? WTF@#*??????. So I rush back home earlier. Stopped at Sunway Pyramid on the way home to pay my Maxis bill. Then rushed back home and reached home just a few minutes before papa 'Buka Puasa'. I was hungry but I don't know why I couldn't eat then. Just had a glass of pink guava juice. I couldnt rush my dad. He was eating and having a conversation with me.
Glance at the clock on the wall and it was 5mins past 8. And Doctor Syed closes his clinic at 9pm.
The moment my dad got up, I gave him a peck on the cheek and told him i got to take Spidey to the hospital.
Just as I was in my room, my ex husband text me. Those text messages made me so mad that I broke down. He was nagging asking why weren't I at the hospital yet. And as usual his SMS always hurt my feelings. I didnt notice my son was standing at the door when i broke down and I was cursing and swearing at his father for the first time, while crying, until i felt 2 little hands came hugging me from behind and whispered to my ears, 'Umi please dont cry, I love u so much'. It was spidey. He hugged me so hard and told me everything is gonna be ok and he kept saying he loves me.
I wiped my tears, and told him to get ready. Put my daughter to sleep before I left. Left without having a single food. Instead of taking Spidey to his usual hospital at KJMC, I decided to take him to the Governement Hospital(University Hospital). In the car while driving I had to force myself to be ok and made a conversation with Spidey. Didnt want him to feel sad seeing me hurt.
Reached University Hospital at 9.45pm and just as I entered the Emergency Center at the Hospital, my jaw dropped seeing the crowd.
I were telling God, please help me passed through the crowds. He did actually. Just as i went to the register counter, the lady asked me who needed to see the doctor. When I mentioned my son, she told me to go straight to Paediatric Emergency. I took Ridhwan there and Alhamdulillah, I need not have to wait. He was immediately attended by Doctor Huang(i think he is from China). After thorough check ups, the doctor told me that Spidey need to be on steroid(felt sad to hear that, he is only 9 and has to be on steroids?)The doctor gave him his nebulizer and also the steroid. Now he has to use the 2 types of inhaler from previous doctor, now plus extra steroid and aerochambers.
By 12.30 am, everything settled. Only then Spidey's father called asking how's thing? Eeerrrggh!
After the nebulizer, spidey was back to his normal bubbly self coz then he was able to breathe normally. We stop at the Hospital Kopitiam to have our supper. At that moment I were too hungry that i could eat a whole horse. My tummy was playing funny music..couldnt tell if it was hip hop or rap of R&B.It sounded more like the traditional keroncong. I only had 2 half boiled eggs and a slice of toasted bread while spidey always has a huge appetite though he is skinny, had Mee curry. We were talking and laughing and he was making funny faces.
Reached home at 2am, took a nice cold shower, slipped into my boxer short and my camisole, sat on my bed facing the window, do my serenity prayer and told Allah about today and counted my blessing. He pointed out to me things I didnt see earlier when I were upset with my ex hubby.
1. He answered my prayer when i had to face the crowds
2. My children will always be there for me because I am always there for them
3. The quality time i have with the kids is something precious and irreplaceable.
4. The love the kids have for me will grow deeper and deeper day by day.
I close my eyes and gave Allah a spiritual hug and thank Him for everything.
2 comments:
Got serenity prayer?
According to the Bukhari hadith, the Prophet pbuh stated that “prayer as you see me pray…”
Wallahualam
Yes Pray as you see the prophet pray, but each night i talk to Allah besides the 5 times prayer, thats what I call my serenity prayer as when you talk to Him, the peacefulness in your soul is so describable. Like what He said, TALK TO HIM and HE SHALL TALK TO YOU, WALK TO HIM and HE WILL WALK TO YOU.
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